Paris Hilton Wants Puppy. Pet Store Wants Paris Hilton Not To Have Puppy It could be said that on average Paris Hilton buys three puppies, two kittens and half a baby elephant every single weekend. It's because of her tremendous love for animals. She feel compassion for them, she feel empathy, and also she likes to pose with them on the red carpet because they make everything 'cuter.' Except for the half-elephant. It's at least the front half, but when she slings it over her shoulder it's severed insides just kind of dangle in the back. Nothing cute about that. In her defense though, the little tiny tusks are quite endearing. Whether or not the preceding sentences even hold a spec of truth is irrelevant right now - it's irrelevant because right now we just want to tell you about the pet store Hilton stopped in to grab a dog, and they told her to keep on walking.

Michael Lohan: ‘Look At Lindsay Lohan’s Naked Boobs? Bleurgh, No!’

With the world still carping on about Lindsay Lohan's naked photoshoot as if it'd never seen a set of blazing red pubes before, it's nice to hear the occasional voice of dissent.

And that voice of dissent happens to come from Lindsay Lohan's Dad. Michael Lohan is steadfastly refusing to look at the naked Lindsay Lohan spread out of a sense of vague disgust, you see.

Not disgust that his daughter has become nothing more than a cheap sexual commodity, though - Michael Lohan is annoyed that Lindsay Lohan's naked photoshoot has stepped on the toes of his own naked photoshoot; the forthcoming Michael Lohan Presents Anna Nicole Smith, We Hardly Knew Ye for Total Sudoku magazine.