Spoilers. Not what Phil Mitchell would fix to the back of a car in his garage, were he not so high on crack fumes all the time, but rather, dramatic spoilers.

?What's going to happen next in EastEnders??, that's what you want to know, and you don't care about simple things like good drama needing the element of surprise, you just want to be able to ruin it for all your friends, and get there first.

So, here goes. We at hecklerspray haven't seen these episodes either, but we have read about them, and how unpredictable can they really be? So, here goes…