Peter Jackson - HecklerSpray

The Hobbit Trailer Is Here, Trumpeted By A Chorus Of Geekgasms!

December 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The trailer for the first part of Peter Jackson’s hugely-anticipated return to Middle Earth, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, has hit the internet shelves for everyone to get all excited over.

Unless, of course, you can’t stand all that hairy toed adventure from pipe-smoking midgets.

Naturally, the trailer itself is over the jump of this article. This means we’ll have some padding to do before then in an attempt to make you watch it on our site rather than somewhere else. This requires a paragraph to leave you ‘hanging’, willing you to click ‘read more’. Please read more. It’ll be worth it. We’ve noticed a link between The Hobbit and the terrible 80s He-Man film, The Masters Of The Universe.

Cate Blanchett To Star In The Hobbit Even Though Her Character Isn’t In The Stupid Book In The First Place

December 8th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Lord of the Rings fans are some of the most peculiar people you’ll ever meet. hecklerspray was once faced with a nutter who had an exact copy of The Ring on his finger, as well as a backpack, identical to one sported by some hairy toed character from the book. He was sat in a pub and didn’t see anything wrong with dressing up like a pipe smoking tramp from the Shire.

Another fan informed us that they wrote out the first 200 pages of The Hobbit by hand, changing ‘Bilbo’ for their own name.

So it goes without saying that there’s a bunch of strange sorts out there who will be already swooning in anticipation at the prospect of the new Hobbit film… however, it isn’t exactly faithful to the text as Peter Jackson has decided to throw some eye-candy at it in the shape of Cate Blanchett.

Martin Freeman Is Now Going To Be The Hobbit Because He Looks Like A Ugly Little Hairy Man

October 22nd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

The Office’s Martin Freeman is going to play Bilbo Baggins in two-part Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. Peter Jackson has announced it so it must be true. And that’s after Freeman saying that he wasn’t going to be able to do the job a while ago.

In a statement, Peter Jackson said there had “only ever been one Bilbo Baggins for us”. While Freeman will be pleased to land such a huge role, he’ll probably be a bit gutted that he’s thought of as a hairy toed little troll.

Still, at least Jackson added that Freeman is “intelligent, funny, surprising and brave – exactly like Bilbo.” Brave? He’s thinking of Kylie, surely?

Peter Jackson Threatens To Stop Filming The Hobbit

September 27th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

The Lord of the Rings franchise was rather successful, despite being rubbish. There wasn’t a single car-chase or decent sex-scene. What a load of rubbish. They didn’t even hire real dragons or anything.

With that, it’s not exactly bad news that Peter Jackson has warned that production on the forthcoming Hobbit movies could cease over a pay dispute with acting unions.

Yeah, hippies. How do you like that? The film might be stopped in its tracks and then you’ll have to… oh… read the book for the millionth time you Shire Weirdos.

Bilbo Baggins Lookalike Martin Freeman Turns Down Role As Bilbo Baggins In The Hobbit Movie

September 8th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Martin Freeman is a lucky actor. Like Michael Caine, he gets gigs in TV and film to essentially turn up and play himself. Lovely work if you can get it. And as such, Peter Jackson who makes all those awful Lord of the Rings films, offered Freeman the chance to play himself one again in the lead role of The Hobbit.

Freeman was offered the chance to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit film, and with it, a seven figure salary.

Did he say yes to a film that is almost certainly going to piss coins? No. He said no because he wanted to carry on as Sherlock Holmes’s sidekick Dr Watson. The tiny idiot.

Guillermo Del Toro Quits The Hobbit – What A Pain In The Ring!

June 1st, 2010 By David Schwartz

Hobbit fans had better just put their stupid wizard gowns and Golem masks back in the closet ? Middle Earth is officially in turmoil.

Why? Because Hobbit director Guillermo Del Toro has quit as director of The Hobbit ? and Peter Jackson has already ruled out taking the reins.

Apparently, the constant delays caused by the financial woes at MGM have pissed Guillermo Del Toro off so much he has decided to walk.

Exclusive: Tommy Wirkola From Dead Snow’s Top 5 Horror Movies

August 28th, 2009 By David Scarborough

Tommy Wirkola is a new name for the horror genre but his audacious, hilarious and blood-splattered Norwegian Nazi zombie movie Dead Snow, shows that this is one director who has done his homework.

If the film isn't making you laugh, cutting something in half or having intestine pulled out of one of the characters, then its winking at the audience with some reference to some of the best-loved horror masterpieces.

Tommy Wirkola has exclusively talked to us about his top five horror movies of all time, and as a list of definitive titles to watch, it’s hard to argue with. Enjoy…

Nobody Wants To Pay For Spielberg’s Tintin Flick

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

We didn’t moan when the credit crunch meant that our house got repossessed or that we had to give up food, but we never thought Tintin would be taken from us.

Sadly, it looks like it has. Despite being masterminded by Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson – the directors of some of the best loved and wildly overlong films about robot children and big monkeys ever made – it’s been reported that the proposed 3D animated Tintin movie has been passed over by Universal for being too expensive.

We genuinely didn’t see this coming – we knew the global economy was fragile at the moment, but so fragile that the world will be deprived of a movie based on the racially dubious adventures a marginally popular ginger Belgian journalist made using prohibitively costly pioneering technology? We’re in worse trouble than we thought.

The Hobbit Gets All Weird And Mexican And Stuff

January 29th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

The Hobbit will definitely be coming to cinemas, and it'll probably have more creepy scrawny Mexican eye-hand monsters than you remembered.

That's because Guillermo Del Toro – director of Pan's Labyrinth and Blade II – is reportedly in talks to take on both proposed Hobbit movies when they eventually get written and made.

And Guillermo Del Toro has certainly won over the fans, too – not because of his creative vision or anything like that, mind you, but because he looks exactly like Peter Jackson in a Bo Selecta mask.

The Hobbit: Peter Jackson & New Line No Longer Be Trippin’

March 31st, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Lava doesn't boil – it makes way for Earth farts. Granted, it may sometimes look as if its boiling, but that's just visual trickery provided by, as we already said, Earth farts. Air bubbles and what not.

No doubt this is the angle New Line intends to play with the new Hobbit movies that are finally moving forward. 'Surprise! The ring's not really destroyed, its just been resting next to a planet sized colon.' Real juvenile New Line! We'll not reward such nonsense with our money! Or our Mom's money! Sure, it's free from the government, but it's because she's disabled! Grow up New Line Cinema!

In more surprising news, Peter Jackson is definitely going to be attached to the film. He and New Line settled their disagreement allowing things to progress. He's not going to direct though. He's going to play King Kong who now conveniently has to destroy the ring the rest of the way. Seriously, it says so on page 12 in the book 'The Real Tolkien volume III,' which we wrote.

Which we intend to write. Maybe next week. We intend to write a Tolkien book maybe next week.