perverting the course of justice

Amy Winehouse Arrested For Being A Justice Pervert

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse has been arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice, either for being caught up in her husband's barman-attack thing or using her haircut to harbour known criminals – we just don't know.

Oh, alright, actually we do know. Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice yesterday after she was apparently implicated in all this business that's got her husband Blake Fielder-Civil currently banged up. After allegedly beating up a pub landlord to such an extent that he needed metal plates inserted into his face, Blake Fielder-Civil is then claimed to have offered him £200,000 to shut up and leave the country – and it's thought that Amy Winehouse was brought into it because, without her wealth, all Blake could offer the landlord was 26p, half a packet of Refreshers and tatty hat that looks like someone's been wiping their arse on it.

Amy Winehouse’s Hubby Still Banged Up

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Aside from the drugs, the self-harm, the wayward onstage performances and the erratic offstage behaviour, Amy Winehouse would be a model citizen if only her husband wasn't in jail for smashing some bloke's face up.

But he is, and he won't be getting out any time soon. Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil was supposed to be in court this week over claims that he beat a man up so violently that the injuries left him needing metal plates in his face, but thanks to Blake Fielder-Civil getting arrested again last week for perverting the course of justice, the case has been pushed back. That means that a) Blake's going to be held in custody for a lot longer than he thought and b) it's looking more and more likely that the next Amy Winehouse album will just consist of 12 increasingly morose renditions of the Birds Of A Feather theme-tune.

Amy Winehouse’s Gaff Raided By The Fuzz

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There are many reasons why people would want to raid Amy Winehouse's flat – to go on what we guess would be a dead-cert drug bust, for example, or to simply sellotape Amy's mouth up and give her hair a damn good combing.

As it happens, police did raid Amy Winehouse's flat last night. However, don't start thinking that the raid was spectacular or anything, because it really wasn't. For a start neither Amy Winehouse or her husband Blake Fielder-Civil were in at the time of the raid – so officers didn't have to fend off any berserko razorblade attacks – plus it seems the raid had something to do with a bunch of people apparently perverting the course of justice, none of whom are Amy Winehouse. Still, it seems a waste to raid Amy Winehouse's flat and not arrest her for something – surely it's illegal to resemble the witch from Snow White that closely.