Beauty, as we all know, is on the inside. If it’s on the inside of a leggy blonde woman, we’ll have to make do.

Christina Applegate is a leggy blonde woman. But that’s not why she’s just been named as number one in People magazine’s Most Beautiful list. Christina Applegate has been named as number one in the Most Beautiful list because she’s beaten cancer. Breast cancer, mind you, not one of those cancers that makes your head all bald and face look all weird. Ugh.

Also in the Most Beautiful list, Zac Efron. He’s such a pretty little girl.

Without question, the day that People‘s Most Beautiful list comes out is the best day of the year. We don’t know about you, but if we weren’t annually reminded that there are a group of people who are infinitely better looking than us, infinitely richer than us and who experience infinitely more happiness, sexual activity and levels of relaxation that we could ever even imagine, then we’d probably throw ourselves off a bridge or something. Honestly.

It’s testament to how much People magazine cares about us that it still publishes the Most Beautiful list in this time of financial uncertainty. True, it’d be cheaper and just as effective to publish one magazine a year where every page reads ‘YOU ARE SCUM’, ‘YOUR FACE OFFENDS US’, ‘WHAT’S THAT SMELL? OH, IT’S YOU’ and ‘WHY DON’T YOU KILL YOURSELF. WHY DON’T YOU LITERALLY GO AND ACTUALLY KILL YOURSELF, YOU DISGUSTING UGLY BASTARD. GO ON. LITERALLY KILL YOURSELF. CUT YOUR FACE UP WITH KNIVES FIRST, THOUGH, BECAUSE THE CORONER STILL HAS TO LOOK AT YOU. UGH’ in massive type, but it still goes the extra mile. We love you, People magazine.

And since the last two people named as People‘s Most Beautiful person of the year were the skinny blonde actresses Kate Hudson and Drew Barrymore, the magazine has decided to mix up the formula this time and give the award to Christina Applegate, the woman primarily famous for being a skinny blonde actress.

Actually, that’s a little unfair. In the last year, Christina Applegate has overcome a gigantic personal hurdle by beating breast cancer. And in a way, that makes her even more beautiful. Not because we subscribe to the belief that true beauty only reveals itself through struggle, but because her new fake bangers are quite sexy. People reports:

The Samantha Who? actress, 37, underwent a double mastectomy, followed by reconstructive surgery. “It’s a decision that you made to save your life,” she says, noting one positive effect: “I don’t have to wear a bra! They don’t hang down to my knees like they did before. And the gals look good in tank tops.”

So who else made it onto People‘s Most Beautiful list? Why, Halle Berry, everyone from 90210, Freida Pinto, Christina Aguilera, Michelle Obama, Taylor Swift and Zac Efron, to name but a few. Who’s the odd one out in this list? It’s Zac Efron, of course. He’s the only one on the list who has never experienced a recognisable human emotion.

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