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Rod Stewart with his lad in his hand, standing over you, pulsatingly erect. Do you like that image? DO YOU?
Well, Penny Lancaster clearly does, as she’s permitted Rod to put his rod in her, and now she’s got an ickle baby growing in her bellyhole.
Rod, preempting comments about his extreme age and cadaverous appearance, states:
“As a parent of a new child, I’ll maybe only be around for 25 years at most. But it will be a happy, loving 25 years.”
Penny Penny Penny, when will you learn? On Strictly Come Dancing Penny Lancaster has shown that if she put her hair up and danced an old-fashioned ballroom dance she’d sail through the elimination process easily.
So what did Penny Lancaster do on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing? She let her hair down and tried to be energetic, that’s what. On Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, Penny decided to dance the Salsa to something that may as well have been Agadoo for all the bloody good it did her. Aiming for ‘vivaciously sexy’ and ending up with something appropriating ‘epileptic woman being exorcised at a disco’, Penny’s bewildering effort left the Strictly Come Dancing viewers wondering if her remote control vibrator was somehow stuck on the ‘destroy’ setting. Needless to say that Penny Lancaster is now out of Strictly Come Dancing for good.
But without Penny Lancaster, who’ll win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, Matt Di Angelo, Kate Garraway and Letitia Dean, with betting odds from Paddy Power…
Tomorrow’s Strictly Come Dancing will be the toughest instalment yet, because the lesser Strictly Come Dancing competitors are falling by the wayside fast, leaving just eight dancers to pretend they stand a chance against Alesha anyway.
Apparently the Strictly Come Dancing dances being danced tomorrow are the Viennese Waltz and the Samba, with one competitor dancing to an Alicia Keys song, another dancing to a Michael Jackson song and someone dancing to Flower Of Scotland. That last one had better be Kenny Logan, because we get the feeling that our entire lives have been leading up to the moment that we get to see a graceless hulk angrily thwump around a stage scaring the young to the sound of sodding bagpipes.
Who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Alesha Dixon, Kate Garraway, Matt Di Angelo and Penny Lancaster, with betting odds from Paddy Power…
It’s the next edition of Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow, and everyone wants to know whether there’ll be another shock result like last week, and also whether everyone is going to react as if their children died like last week too.
Having said that, the shock Strictly Come Dancing exit of Gabby Logan last week was fairly entertaining, not least because Len Goodman – a man who sat stony-faced when that Osmond woman collapsed in front of her recently – has turned into the world’s most furious man because the public didn’t vote properly. So let’s try and get another favourite out tomorrow, because we get the feeling Len might squirt his brain out of his nose in disgust if we do.
Who’ll be the next to leave Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kelly Brook, Gethin Jones, Letitia Dean, Penny Lancaster and Matt Di Angelo, with help from Paddy Power…
