Guess what?! It’s nearly February 8th! What does that mean? Well, that date marks the three-year anniversary of Chris Brown punching ten shades out of his then-girlfriend Rihanna! Ain’t that grand? It really is. The whole world came together like knuckles on eye-socket on that day.
And there’s more!
See, despite previously being forcibly separated by a court order, RiRi and Breezy (honestly, what is it with these nicknames? Are they 10 years old or something?) could be seeing in the anniversary together as multiple sources confirm that the pair have been secretly been (right) hooking up for nearly a year!
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The most virile 17-year-old on the planet, One Direction’s Harry Styles has joined the long list of celebrities who have had naked photos of themselves ‘leaked’ to the press.
The alleged picture show a curly-haired youngster posing with his member hanging out the front of his pants in front of a mirror, his face obscured by a camera flash.
The shadowy figure appears to be wearing Harry’s trademark silver dog tags, and is devoid of body-hair; his body seemingly needing the keratin to add even more volume to his white-boy afro. Why not take a look after the jump?
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Oh dear. Poor ol’ Chris Brown has got his boxing gloves in a twist. See, he doesn’t like people asking him about the terrible things he’s done in the past. The last time someone broached the topic of him punching Rihanna, he tore his shirt off and threw a chair at a window.
And so, instead of addressing the issues and maybe saying sorry, showing that he’s grown up and wants to move on, he’s decided to go with another tactic.
In 2012, Chris Brown has announced there will be a ban on all interviews. That’s right. Tired of people pointing out you’re an idiot? Then stick your fingers in your ears for a whole calendar year and laughably suggest that you should be judge solely on your ‘talent’.
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Bugger. A new year is nearly upon us which means award ceremonies will soon be in full swing. February will see Adele win every award she’s nominated for at The Brits because quantity of sales rules over quality of music these days.
The Brit awards are so dull that the most mind shattering event to have ever happened was when Labour politician John Prescott got a bucket of ice water tipped over him. Imagine if he’d froze to death or got his suit ruined?
For real controversy, you can always count on America. Back in 2009, Rihanna and Chris Brown were scheduled to individually perform at the Grammys, the only ceremony in the world where people honour country & western music. Sadly for Rihanna, Chris Brown got a little excited about the evening ahead and started fist bumping her repeatedly in the face. But hey, that happened years ago and it seems the organisers of the Grammys have completely forgotten this.
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All industries are dominated by a few major players - just look at the computer you’re using. It’ll either be a PC or a magical Mac that claims to aid you in ways you didn’t think existed. In the music world, different genres have varied leading individuals.
In the world of rap & hip-hop, there are plenty to pick from; ranging from Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Kanye. Remarkably, one person whose still has a career despite his woman punchingpast is Chris Brown.
Since his incident with Rihanna and other angry antics, it’s remarkably easy to make fun of Chris Brown and the rest of Team Breezy. Team Hecklerspreezy doesn’t mind being the crew to do just that. However, we’ve been alerted to a piece of satire that is amazing in a variety of ways. So stop reading our ropey sentences and watch Mac Lethal slay Chris Brown with some lyrical pancakes.
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In the UK, the only real battle we have is between “Team Peter” and “Team Katie.” Whilst they’re both like persistant scabs who scar the celebrity landscape, people are genuinely torn between who they prefer. Do you go for the ex-tit model or a bloke who is so fame hungry, that he went back into the “I’m A Celebrity” Jungle of Obscurity?
Over in America, there are loads of couples who frequently split up once they’ve bagged the cash for the wedding tie-in photos or TV special. Ain’t that right Kim Kardashian? Occasionally though, a celeb breakup can be real and quite literally messy as Rihanna found out when human Muppet impersonator Chris Brown splattered her pretty face across the inside of his car with his fists.
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The battle of modern Britain’s intellectual heavyweights is underway on Twitter at the moment, as the cast of human zoo The Only Way is Essex are squaring off against QPR captain, and Mario Balotelli impersonator, Joey Barton.
Joey took to Twitter earlier in the week to announce that he’d attended the launch party of the new Call of Duty game, a party that was also attended by the TOWIE cast.
Whilst most people would be content to just stand in a corner, making the most of the free booze, slagging off the permatanned primadonnas amongst the comfortable surroundings of a group of close mates, the controversial footballer decided to take to the net to speak his mind.
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If we were in charge of the Hip-Hop awards, we’d boil everything down to just one award which congratulated an artist for name checking themselves at least fifty times per song and rhyming words ridiculously fast.
But like any other dull awards ceremony, tedious trophies are given to anyone who wears an entire gold mine round their neck.
One of the most popular bucktoothed faces of modern hip-hop is none other than Chris Brown. Whilst repetitively hitting someone in the face would land the average person a long prison sentence, the opposite happened to our gormless friend.
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