But luckily that’s all changed now. Jude Law went to Afghanistan on a mission of peace yesterday, to call for a one-day ceasefire that would allow food deliveries and vaccinations to take place. But only if it’s called The First Annual Ceasefire And We Love Jude Law Day and everyone is given a Jude Law mask and a badge that says ‘Jude Law Is My Hero And Also A Fairly Underrated Actor’.

That’s a lie. But while Jude Law’s Afghan peace visit might seem like an embarrassingly hopeless display of celebrity vanity, it might just work. After all, it’s a little-known fact that the Taliban universally considers Jude Law’s portrayal of a sexy robot prostitute in AI to be the pinnacle of artistic achievement in all of history. It might work after all!

We’ve always thought that Jude Law was good at three things – miraculously and naturally reversing the effects of male pattern baldness, having it off with the staff and peacefully unifying all regions of the world forever all by himself.

No, really, he is. Look at the Bosnian war – it was a tangled mess that looked set to rage on for centuries until it abruptly came to an end in 1995, just after the release of Jude Law’s little-watched joyriding Britflick Shopping. Coincidence? No? Pah, next you’ll be telling us that the 2004 expansion of North Atlantic Treaty Organisation didn’t have anything to do with I Heart Huckabees.

Anyway, now Jude Law has turned his focus onto Afghanistan. According to reports, Jude Law is pushing for September 21 to become a nationwide ‘Peace Day’ where all sides of the conflict can lay down their weapons to facilitate 24 hours of safe food deliveries and vaccinations.

Apparently this is the second year in a row that Jude Law has visited Afghanistan, after making a top-secret trip last year to help with the country’s vaccination program. It was such a top-secret visit, in fact, that nobody at all knew he was even there. Well, apart from the crew of the forthcoming documentary that Jude Law was making about it. He’s not stupid. Speaking in Kabul yesterday, Jude Law said of his last visit:

“I was hugely moved, not by the conflict that I have read so much about, but by the people’s courage and the people’s sense of hope. It seemed that they really want to make the peace day work. And they did. People recognise the day because they recognise that lives could be saved.”

According to Jude Law, this Afghanistan documentary of his is “the most important film I have been part of”. What, more important than the Alfie remake? Don’t do yourself down so much, Jude.

Actually, while it’s easy to mock Jude Law for the weird self-belief that he can bring peace to Afghanistan simply because he happens to be Jude Law, you have to admit that – theoretically at least – the Peace Day does sound like an incredibly good idea. And what does Jude Law want in return for his promotion of the cause?

Nothing more than a road named after him and a series of mile-high golden statues depicting seminal scenes from his movies that flash the world ‘hero’ in every language on Earth directly into the sky every night. The man should be applauded.