Articles tagged with: Paula Abdul
Ellen Degeneres Gets Paula Adul’s Idol Job, Practices Blathering
Our favourite part of watching American Idol has always been crying under the couch with our fingers knuckle-deep in our ears anytime someone holding our remote control decides to check it out. Our least favourite part of watching the show has always been the aural bleeding. Admittedly that's probably because our un-filed fingers had just been jammed in there, but still, in our head we blamed Paula Abdul. Now that blame will have to shift to Ellen DeGeneres. She, apparently, is Abdul's new full-time, permanent replacement.
Our favourite part of watching American Idol has always been crying under the couch with our fingers knuckle-deep in our ears anytime someone holding our remote control decides to check it out. Our least favourite part of watching the show has always been the aural bleeding. Admittedly that's probably because our un-filed fingers had just been jammed in there, but still, in our head we blamed Paula Abdul. Now that blame will have to shift to Ellen DeGeneres. She, apparently, is Abdul's new full-time, permanent replacement.
Paula Abdul To Host Some Show You’ll Never Watch
We knew it was a good idea for Paula Abdul to leave American Idol! The big time is hers for the taking now! And it certainly doesn't get any bigger than VH1 Divas! True, you might not have ever heard of VH1 Divas, but that's only because it's so big that it's completely invisible to the naked eye, like oxygen or God or whatever. Or because it's embarrassingly small and nobody cares about it except the people directly involved with it, and even then it's only because they've been paid. One or the other. Anyway, Paula Abdul's hosting that. Woo!
We knew it was a good idea for Paula Abdul to leave American Idol! The big time is hers for the taking now! And it certainly doesn't get any bigger than VH1 Divas! True, you might not have ever heard of VH1 Divas, but that's only because it's so big that it's completely invisible to the naked eye, like oxygen or God or whatever. Or because it's embarrassingly small and nobody cares about it except the people directly involved with it, and even then it's only because they've been paid. One or the other. Anyway, Paula Abdul's hosting that. Woo!
Paula Abdul: The Crashingly Inescapable American Idol Comeback
Paula Abdul's bad decisions have included singing with a cartoon cat, marrying Emilio Estevez and speaking in public. But quitting American Idol? That was her worst decision of all. And we don't say that lightly - this is a woman who deliberately got married to Emilio Estevez, for crying out loud. Anyway, it seems that the flurry of interest that swamped Paula Abdul's departure from American Idol has now crawled to a trickle, And Paula now reportedly wants her old job back. Phew, it's good that Simon Cowell is so famously compassionate, isn't it? This could have got pretty awkward otherwise.
Paula Abdul's bad decisions have included singing with a cartoon cat, marrying Emilio Estevez and speaking in public. But quitting American Idol? That was her worst decision of all. And we don't say that lightly - this is a woman who deliberately got married to Emilio Estevez, for crying out loud. Anyway, it seems that the flurry of interest that swamped Paula Abdul's departure from American Idol has now crawled to a trickle, And Paula now reportedly wants her old job back. Phew, it's good that Simon Cowell is so famously compassionate, isn't it? This could have got pretty awkward otherwise.
Everyone Wants Paula Abdul To Babble & Slur For Them
Paula Abdul has always been a free agent - you can't constrain her with things like rules or basic human logic. But now she really is free. She's free of the American Idol machine, with its cynical attitude to creativity and willingness to give her millions of dollars for doing hardly anything. Apparently Paula Abdul could now be snapped up by So You Think You Can Dance, although she's probably holding out for So You Think You Can Stare Off Into Space For Great Stretches Of Time While Softly Giggling At A Joke That Only You Can Hear. She's got expertise there.
Paula Abdul has always been a free agent - you can't constrain her with things like rules or basic human logic. But now she really is free. She's free of the American Idol machine, with its cynical attitude to creativity and willingness to give her millions of dollars for doing hardly anything. Apparently Paula Abdul could now be snapped up by So You Think You Can Dance, although she's probably holding out for So You Think You Can Stare Off Into Space For Great Stretches Of Time While Softly Giggling At A Joke That Only You Can Hear. She's got expertise there.
American Idol: Victoria Beckham Is The New Paula Abdul, Upsettingly
Replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol will be tricky - producers need to find someone vivacious, warm and emotional. But for now they'll stick with Victoria Beckham. She's not really any of those things - in fact she's a sour-faced android, so she's the precise opposite - but she is available. We can't overstate that enough. Victoria Beckham is always available for work. Always. Victoria Beckham will temporarily replace Paula Abdul on the new American Idol. So will Katy Perry, in what appears to be a stipulation on Victoria's part to ensure that she isn't the crappiest thing about the new American Idol.
Replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol will be tricky - producers need to find someone vivacious, warm and emotional. But for now they'll stick with Victoria Beckham. She's not really any of those things - in fact she's a sour-faced android, so she's the precise opposite - but she is available. We can't overstate that enough. Victoria Beckham is always available for work. Always. Victoria Beckham will temporarily replace Paula Abdul on the new American Idol. So will Katy Perry, in what appears to be a stipulation on Victoria's part to ensure that she isn't the crappiest thing about the new American Idol.
Paula Abdul: Just A Great Big Stupid Publicity Stunt?
You probably felt a surge of conflicting emotions when Paula Abdul revealed that she was leaving American Idol. First there was shock. Then incredulity. After all, American Idol had reportedly offered Paula Abdul $5 million a year to stay - who'd turn down a sum like that? And then came begrudging acceptance. After all, this is Paula Abdul we're talking about - a woman whose modus operandi seems to be 'how could I make the least possible amount of sense here?' So maybe Paula Abdul really is stupid enough to turn down that sort of money. Or maybe it's all a publicity stunt...
You probably felt a surge of conflicting emotions when Paula Abdul revealed that she was leaving American Idol. First there was shock. Then incredulity. After all, American Idol had reportedly offered Paula Abdul $5 million a year to stay - who'd turn down a sum like that? And then came begrudging acceptance. After all, this is Paula Abdul we're talking about - a woman whose modus operandi seems to be 'how could I make the least possible amount of sense here?' So maybe Paula Abdul really is stupid enough to turn down that sort of money. Or maybe it's all a publicity stunt...
Paula Abdul Quits American Idol, Randy Now Officially Oddest Judge
That's it. American Idol has lost its heart. Well, maybe not its heart - more like its atrophied cerebellum. Anyway, look, Paula Abdul has left American Idol. That was our point. And Paula Abdul's American Idol departure is a shock - for all the threats and posturing from her management recently, we were certain that Paula was just angling for a bigger salary. But no - first Paula Abdul Twittered her resignation and then Fox confirmed it. We can't overstate what a loss this is. Without Paula Abdul around, the American Idol contestants will now be forced to sleep with each other. Disappointing.
That's it. American Idol has lost its heart. Well, maybe not its heart - more like its atrophied cerebellum. Anyway, look, Paula Abdul has left American Idol. That was our point. And Paula Abdul's American Idol departure is a shock - for all the threats and posturing from her management recently, we were certain that Paula was just angling for a bigger salary. But no - first Paula Abdul Twittered her resignation and then Fox confirmed it. We can't overstate what a loss this is. Without Paula Abdul around, the American Idol contestants will now be forced to sleep with each other. Disappointing.
American Idol: Simon Cowell Falls For Paula Abdul’s Self-Pity
Yesterday we said that Paula Abdul was probably going to leave American Idol. And she really was, too. She was going to leave. It wasn't just a dimwitted bluff to make American Idol pay her more money. Paula Abdul was definitely leaving American Idol. Unless the show decided to pay her a lot more money, in which case she'd consider staying. But it's not about money. Its about being treated with a basic level of human decency. And money. It's mostly about money. Anyway, Simon Cowell has revealed that he wants Paula Abdul to stay. That was probably our point.
Yesterday we said that Paula Abdul was probably going to leave American Idol. And she really was, too. She was going to leave. It wasn't just a dimwitted bluff to make American Idol pay her more money. Paula Abdul was definitely leaving American Idol. Unless the show decided to pay her a lot more money, in which case she'd consider staying. But it's not about money. Its about being treated with a basic level of human decency. And money. It's mostly about money. Anyway, Simon Cowell has revealed that he wants Paula Abdul to stay. That was probably our point.
