paul weller - HecklerSpray

Paul Weller Says He’s An Alcoholic, Which Is Payback For All That Awful Music Really

March 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Paul Weller, king of the plastic mods, has confessed that he’s an alcoholic. This is only fair really because, frankly, he’s responsible for some of the worst music ever cut to wax. And that haircut? Jesus H. Christ.

Of course, Weller isn’t being sensitive about it all. In fact, he’s showing off about it. Basically, he’s crowing about how much he could drink and, furthermore, he’s acting all hard and saying that he doesn’t need professional help with it all.

He’s probably going to wank it out whilst looking at pictures of himself, or something.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Cooked or Booked?

Folded

“And the award for ‘best’ constructed reality television show goes to…” – BAFTA baffle us with new award.
Gotham City Imposters – It’s coming in January and it’s probably going to be really, really good.
Paul Weller thinks that the Stone Roses reformed for money. Ouch.
Morgan Freeman – Sure, he’s been in some right duds but that doesn’t make him any less great.
Gary Barlow – For having a conscience about that poor little coke-addled lad.

Creased

Syco – For not.
The Murdochs – Just a reminder.

X Factor Review, Week 4 – Part 2 Fast, 2 Furious

August 5th, 2012 By Sophie Hall

Right. RIGHT. So, the X Factor is still on.

Here are the opening titles. Here?s Dermot O Leary?s voice hurriedly aired in from Skype. It's time to face the music. No, not time to face the music and dance. You are mistaken. Just time to face the music.? Just maintain eye contact with the music until you start feeling uncomfortable and?embarrassed?and just want to go home.

Look, there’s an X Factor helicopter.?Okay, so let’s talk about X Factor helicopters.

Beady Eye, Paul Weller And Other Has-Beens Raise Money For Japan

April 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

If Japan hadn’t suffered enough, last night, they had a gig which featured Beady Eye, Paul Weller and Richard Ashcroft on their consciences too. Someone should do a further benefit gig for them to cope with this newest slop of news.

Even though the gig did a good thing by raising over ?150,000 for the victims of the horrifying tsunami and earthquake, that doesn’t mean we should eschew our obligation to mock the collection of awful, awful feathered cod-mod haircuts that were on show.

Not to mention the terrible, plodding, faux-anthemic white boy rock peddled by a bunch of bloated blokes in bootcut jeans.

Paul Weller To Win Mercury Music Prize Tonight?

September 7th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Tonight sees the annual Mercury Music Prize trundling into view, hauling its mighty self worth with it. Bands will be dribbled over and invariably drowned out to the sound of a room congratulating itself with thunderous back-slaps. Jools Holland will probably join-in with some faux honky tonk piano.

And weirdly, the bookies favourite for a win tonight is octogenarian Paul Weller, with his album ‘Wake Up The Nation’.

You can see what we thought of that album, and indeed, all the other nominees at this predictably dismissive article here.