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Separating the sweet, juicy flesh from the stone and skin of this week’s major label releases.
You’ll have noticed there’s a worldwide financial crisis going on. Well don’t worry, because we’ve generously picked out three of this week’s new music releases to uplift your spirits. Or else confirm your belief that the world is going to hell, and fast. Whichever.
All releases are represented by a thought which might be thinked by the thinkers who buy them.
When it comes to getting a gang of dreadful personality-free cockmunches to sing on vaguely low-rent TV shows, Simon Cowell is undoubtedly a world leader.
But it's fair to say that Simon Cowell should never ever be allowed to even think about making movies for a second. Not even for a second. He should be forced to wear high-voltage electrodes or an exploding neck collar just to stop him thinking about making movies.
We're basing this assessment on one thing and one thing alone here – Simon Cowell is going to make a biopic based on the life of Britain's Got Talent winner Paul Potts. Someone find us the number of a reputable exploding neck collar salesman quick.
