Patrick Swayze - HecklerSpray

The Dirty Dancing Remake Can Go Straight to Hell

April 10th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Just a heads up, I am FULL of anger atm and I am directing it a lot of places, so be ready for some seriously pissed off blogging starting with the OFFENSIVE ABOMINATION that is the made-for-tv Dirty Dancing remake.

When I found out ABC was going to one of those stupid musical made-for-tv remakes of the beloved classic Dirty Dancing I was like “Uh, why would you remake perfection? Stop this right now.” But apparently ABC doesn’t care about MY feelings because they’ve started releasing pictures from the remake and I am LIVID.

5 Hockey Movies to Watch During the NHL Lockout

October 21st, 2012 By Gavin Bard

Gary Bettman, the weaselly grim reaper of the National Hockey League, is quite possibly the worst human being in the world. I know, I know, we have no shortage of options for that designation. Hell, we write about a whole lot of them right here on HecklerSpray. It isn’t like the celebrity world is teeming with actual well balanced role-models or anything.

Still, if I had to vote on the one person I would currently vote off the island ? the island in this analogy being the entire planet of Earth ? it would be this particular hollow suit. He helps represent everything that is wrong with human greed and, even worse, forces me to be on the side of millionaires – because the only thing worse than a millionaire is a billionaire.

So while Gary Bettman helps the NHL’s owners put a pillow over the face of North American hockey, remember that if you need a fix of ice cold action, the movie industry has you covered. At least nobody in that business are greedy vultures who want to make millions of dollars to add to their millions of dollars at the expense of the people who actually do the work.

Right?

Patrick Swayze’s Widow Does ‘Dirty’ Pose With His Wax Dummy

October 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Many saw the funny side of Patrick Swayze’s death because he played a ghost in a film. Those same people probably didn’t care much for Dirty Dancing, so thought they’d troll everyone who looked upset.

Much like those hooting at those wailing over pictures of Colonel Gaddafi at the moment. Basically, death brings out the comedian in everyone. LONG LIVE GALLOWS HUMOUR!

With that, have you seen Lisa Niemi? She’s Swayze’s widow. Grief can do weird things to a person and she’s been photographed doing something rather unsettling with a Patrick Swayze dummy.

Bored Hollywood Executives To Remake ‘Point Break’ With Worst Film Writer On Earth

September 13th, 2011 By Michael Park

It is a truth passed down from generation to generation amongst Hollywood’s glittering elite. There’s no reason to make something if you can remake something. Hollywood film executives are willing to remake or reboot any film or franchise in the pursuit of artistic fulfilment*.

From tat like The Day The Earth Stood Still to horror classics like Dracula, it’s nigh-on impossible to escape the pervasive influence of the Hollywood remake in modern cinema. Hollywood is even willing to remake remakes and reboot reboots. One need only look at the treatment of The Incredible Hulk & Spiderman to see that Hollywood’s pursuit of film-making perfection** is a rolling juggernaut of epic proportions.

Lea Michele Obvious In Dirty Dancing Remake… Justin Bieber To Take Lead?

August 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember us telling you the mindcrushing news that Dirty Dancing was about to be remade? Well, Glee’s Lea Michele is strongly rumoured to be lined up for the part of ‘Baby’, as made famous by Jennifer Grey.

She’s a pretty obvious choice when you think about it, what with her being incredibly wholesome, and thereby, able to portray the saccharine blossoming of sexuality with some berk with a haircut.

Of course, Michele is about to leave Glee because half the cast will have to graduate (don’t write off a Fame-esque spin-off yet though) so she’ll have the time to play the awfully named Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman. But who will play Patrick Swayze’s character, Johnny Castle?

Baby About To Be Not Put In The Corner Again In Dreadful Dirty Dancing Remake

August 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

They, had, the time of their lives and they owed it all to lonely women, rapt with their nine bars of Galaxy. That’s right. We’re talking about Dirty Dancing which starred Baby Houseman and Johnny Castle as a pair of dancing things.

The original film was endured by the world over 20 years ago, prompting morons to reenact the lifting scene at their awful, awful weddings.

And now it’s coming back in a remake which will no doubt irritate everyone who think that there’s nothing wrong with the one that already exists, provoking them to say “You can’t replace the Swayze!” Hopefully, this redux will have robots in it.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

Holidays and mini-breaks.

Folded:

The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please)
Slovenia (radical)
Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining)
Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to yourself. Don't see Fame though, people will think you're doing stuff)
Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe (He's done it again, he's made Bad Influence ’09)

Creased:

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

Bad times…

‘The Swizzle? (put Road House on and remember Patrick Swayze in the worst at his best. ?My way… or the highway?)
Put this in front of any url (why? Because laughing at Kanye West is fun)
Troy Kennedy Martin (died this week and he wrote the screenplay for The Italian Job, so that's definitely earned him a mention)
Keith Floyd (heart attack. Drink some wine and remember this guy too)
Pirates of the Caribbean 4 actually sounds like it could be quite good (probably won’t be though)

Patrick Swayze Dies, Which Is Rubbish

September 15th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Patrick Swayze – actor, dancer, singer, cockney rhyming slang mainstay – has died of pancreatic cancer. He was 57.

If you’re like us, you were probably expecting to read that last sentence 20 months ago. That’s when Patrick Swayze was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and the rumours about him only having weeks to live emerged. It’s a testament to Patrick Swayze’s strength of mind that he not only ended up clinging on for over a year and a half, but that he also continued to work painkiller-free for much of it.

It’s a sad day, but at least Point Break will be on TV soon.

Patrick Swayze Isn’t Even Dead Yet, You Idiots

May 20th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Poor old Patrick Swayze. To hear your own obituary once is bad enough. But now he’s heard it twice, which seems a little extravagant.

And it’s all thanks to our old friend the internet. Yesterday afternoon an announcement on a Florida radio station led to internet reports claiming that Patrick Swayze had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. This in turn led to a tidalwave of sad-face emoticons on Twitter – officially the greatest sign of bereavement that the internet is sanctioned to use.

Thing is, though, Patrick Swayze hadn’t died – of anything – and now he’s a little bit pissed off.