Posts tagged as:

Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan: Grand Theft Edition

by Mof Gimmers

God bless child actors who grow-up. Badly. Lindsay Lohan is fast becoming the greatest hecklerspray pin-up who ever lived thanks to her mixture of pure, undiluted trash and her complete inability to stay out of trouble. So, after being a drunk, druggy wreck, she went to rehab and got accused of lamping someone who worked [...]

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Glee Cast Apologise To Lindsay Lohan Entirely Of Their Own Free Will

by Amy Grindhouse

The cast of Glee had water pistols put to their collective heads and now they’ve said sorry to Lindsay Lohan. We kid, of course. No water pistols, plastic spoons, or any other offensive weapons, were used to compel an apology from the cast of the show, after they made some pretty accurate comments about the [...]

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Yes! Just When You Thought Lindsay Lohan Was Getting Boring, She Turns Into A Jewel Thief!

by Mof Gimmers

We were very worried when Lindsay Lohan went to rehab, mainly because she was looking dangerously like she was about to become a wholesome bore… and Hollywood has enough of those idiots. However, LiLo isn’t going to let us down! It’s reported and alleged and all that, that our LoLiLoHaHo could be in trouble with [...]

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Paris Hilton’s Boyfriend Might Be Going To Prison, Which Will Probably Be Incredibly Distressing

by Mof Gimmers

The world’s most useful celebrity – Paris Hilton – is a shit-magnet. By which we mean, she exists solely to be a bit thick, a simpletonery that will consistently get her into moral or legal trouble with everyone. While actors and musicians can claw their way from trouble by reminding us what they’re good at, [...]

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Was Lindsay Lohan Dyeing Her Hair Or Beating The Living Daylights Out Of A Betty Ford Worker?

by Mof Gimmers

Every single day, each one of us faces the same question – were we dyeing our hair a different colour or beating ten shades of faeces out of someone? And that’s exactly what is being asked of Lindsay Lohan at the moment. And only one man can answer! Apparently! And that! See, around the time [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Moves Next Door to Ex-Girlfriend, Samantha Ronson

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan has overcome her addiction to chocolate buttons. She has been in a proper rehabilitation facility, where no chocolate whatsoever is available. She has been abstaining from the hard stuff and, we have it on good authority, she has not touched so much as chocolate milk. She’s cured! And by ‘cured’, we mean she’s [...]

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What’s This? Another Story About A Paris Hilton Sex Tape? Incredible!

by Mof Gimmers

Paris Hilton is the queen of a most modern section of fame, notably, the advent of the Célebutante. She’s famous simply by existing. Sure, her CV may read actress, TV star and singer, but really, she’s in the eye by virtue of vast wealth, being clueless and a sex tape. Concerning the latter, Paris is [...]

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Paris Hilton Caught Up In Airplane Incident Not Related To Snow But Relating To Knife

by Matthew Laidlow

At the moment, the UK is currently being gripped by an incident so worrying and terrifying that big name directors are already battling for the rights to secure a Hollywood account of it. Gripped by the elements, Jack Frost has grounded transport, stranded thousands and given countless individuals an easy excuse to skive off work. [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Assaulted Someone… Wait, She Got Assaulted… No… Hang On…

by Mof Gimmers

There’s a feeling in Hollywood that you shouldn’t listen to what people write about you, rather, measure it in inches. Well Lindsay Lohan must be thrilled because she’s got roughly 289 miles of articles written about her in 2010. She’ll need one big-ass scrapbook for clippings for Christmas. Of course, the main crux of LiLo’s [...]

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Lindsay Lohan May Have A Stalker – A Stalker Called Hecklerspray?

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve been rumbled. At least, that’s what it sounds like. See, Lindsay Lohan has become afraid, threatened and targeted. All things you could blame useless, leeching shits like us for. However, she’s under the impression its a stalker that is causing her bother, which means we can get on with our business. So while a [...]

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