So you’re Paris Hilton. You’re primarily known for having graphic sex on the internet and drink-driving.

Where’s the one place on the planet that you probably shouldn’t visit? Why, somewhere that rules public drunkenness and sex outside of wedlock to be illegal, of course. Somewhere like, ooh, Dubai. Which, incidentally, is where Paris Hilton has decided to set the new season of her reality TV show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. Seriously. Guh.

We know what you’re thinking, and we totally agree – if Paris Hilton’s new Dubai BFF doesn’t turn out to be Jim Davidson, then we’re starting a riot.

Who thought BFF stood for ‘best friend forever’? You did? Well you’re wrong, and our estimations of you have plummeted as a result, frankly. BFF can’t mean best friend forever, because Paris Hilton is now gearing up for her third season of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, and you’re not allowed to have three best friends forever. No, BFF stands for ‘best friend forthesakeoftemporarilyboostingmyflaggingcareer’ and anyone who disagrees with us is an idiot.

If you’ve never seen an episode of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, by the way, then we should take this opportunity to fill you in – it’s basically The Apprentice, but instead of getting a high-flying job working as an executive for a well-respected businessman, the top prize involves listening to Paris Hilton bleat on witlessly on about her own hair until you can’t take it any longer, rip your own jaw out, beat her over the head with it until she dies and then curl up into the foetal position laughing like a schoolgirl until an ambulance comes to section you.

But anyway, now that Paris Hilton has found idiots willing to be her BFF in America and the UK, it’s now time for her to set her sights on a place that she’s almost comically unsuited to – Dubai. Reuters reports:

Production on the latest version of “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” will begin later this month in Dubai and take 17 days, Ish Entertainment said. “We’re very aware we are not making the same show we would make in Los Angeles,” said Ish co-founder Michael Hirschorn. “I was excited about the sheer, ‘Oh my God, what’s going to happen’ factor,” Hirschorn said.

What’s going to happen? Isn’t it mindblowingly obvious what’ll happen, Michael Hirschorn? Paris Hilton will step off the plane to Dubai in a miniskirt, get instantly arrested for public indecency and spend the next six years crying to herself in a sweltering, overcrowded prison cell. Incidentally, her new best friend will either be a lizard who she adopts as a pet, occasionally breaking its legs so it can never escape, or a giant overweight lesbian who periodically tries to sexually assault Paris at knifepoint.

Either way, we’re in.

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