Paris Hilton - HecklerSpray

The Kardashians Are Ironically Making Paris Hilton Relevant Again

February 7th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Last night, my friend Samantha wrote on my Facebook wall “I really feel like I need to hear your take on how it seems like the Kardashians are trying to make Paris Hilton a thing again”, and, tbh, I was so happy someone else had noticed this social media phenomenon.

Starting a little over a year ago and escalating these past several months, it seems like the KarJenners and Paris Hilton are like total BFF again and closer than ever, which has suddenly rendered Paris Hilton relevant again. Obviously, this fills me with a lot of opinions.

Paris Hilton Definitely Paid For Her Own Engagement Ring

January 3rd, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Happy New Year! I’m back after a brief holiday hiatus (plus I blogged logged 40 million times in December), and boy has this year started off right! My first story isn’t even going to be about one of the Kardashians, but rather one of the reasons they’re even famous: Paris Hilton!

Paris got engaged to her boyfriend Chris Zylka over the New Years weekend, which would typically mean absolutely nothing to me because who gives a fuck about Paris Hilton anymore, right? However, everything about her goddamn engagement has me cackling like a man woman, so here I am blogging.

Paris Hilton Defends Donald Trump…The Takes It Back

August 18th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Paris Hilton is occasionally one of those people that I WANT to like, then she does some dumb shit and I realize I can never like her, because she’s a spoiled, delusional idiot. I think you can see where this blog is going.

Back in November, Paris did an interview with Marie Claire magazine that is for some reason only seeing the light of day now. In the interview, Paris did the impossible by proclaiming herself a feminist, then perpetuating rape culture all in the span of a few sentences.

Paris Hilton’s Brother, Conrad, is a Terrible Person

May 12th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

For years, I thought that Paris Hilton was the worst piece of shit pop culture could produce: A spoiled, entitled, coke whore brat who suffered from severe affluenza and didn’t have to take responsibility for anything or be nice to anyone. Then I discovered her younger brother Conrad and quickly discovered it’s not just Paris, it’s the whole goddamn family.

I’ve written about Conrad Hilton’s cunty brat behaviour in the past, but since he’s so fucking rich and Daddy keeps bailing him out, homeboy never learns a fucking lesson, so once again he’s in the news for being a giant piece of shit, and once again Daddy Hilton has bailed him out.

Why Paris Hilton Can’t Keep Friends: An Investigation

October 14th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Two hard-hitting Krysta Fitzpatrick investigations in one week?! No, you haven’t died and gone to heaven, I just get really bored in the mornings lately. ANYWAY, today I’d like to take you on a journey through the rise and fall of some of Paris Hilton’s most famous friendships.

Paris always seems to briefly have some big celeb bff, then there is a falling out and she typically trash talks them, and they never really hang out again. In fact, it kind of seems like the only best friend Paris can keep is her sister, Nicky, which is preeeeeettty lame. Like, no offense to my sisters, but if they were my only friends I’d be miserable (seriously guys, no offense).

Paris Hilton’s Brother is the Absolute Worst

June 23rd, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

For a really long time I thought that Paris Hilton was the cold sore on the Hilton family labia, but as it turns out, she might not even be the worst Hilton out there! So, a few months back I wrote about how Paris Hilton’s little brother, Conrad Hilton, made a drunken, spoiled rich kid dick of himself on a flight and he got charged for that shit. Well, Conrad is at this entitled douche antics again, this time breaking into an ex-girlfriend’s house.

The ex in question is Hunter Salomon, a name that means nothing until you find out that it’s Rick Salomon’s daughter. Who is Rick Salomon you ask? Well, that’s the man who co-starred in big sis Paris’s sex tape and accused Pamela Anderson of being a serial abortionist. The plot thickens!

Seeing Paris Hilton Nude Never Gets Old (14 PICS)

Ah, Paris Hilton. She’s been around for a while, and yes, she’s still famous for being famous. She’s done it all – had a popular sex tape, leaked cellphone pics and her own reality TV show. It’s all rubbish but somehow people are obsessed with this woman.

Don’t get us wrong. It’s not that we don’t see her appeal. She’s slim, blonde and somewhat sexy naked. We get it. Her sex tape was pretty good and she’s a real expert of accidentally flashing her boobs and vagoo when the paparazzi are around. Yes, she does it on purpose. And we have the pics to prove it.

Still Dissin’ Kim K for Sex Tape is Kinda Sexist Bullsh*t

February 19th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Unless you’ve been a) living under a rock, or b) aren’t a dumbass jerk wad like me who stays thoroughly up to date on all celebrity gossip, you’ve probably heard about the feud that Amber Rose has gotten herself into with the Kardashians. One of my fellow HecklerSpray bloggers just wrote about it, so you can easily catch yourself up. Though Amber’s feud has primarily been with Khloe, she brought Kim into it in a way that made me kind of SMH at her.

Even though it’s been like a million years since it’s release, people still feel a need to constantly bring up Kim Kardashian’s sex tape and claim that it’s the only reason her family is famous at all, which is essentially what Amber did. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love mocking the Kardashian’s, but even I think this is some sexist bullshit that has to stop.

Paris Hilton’s Brother is Almost as Bad as Paris Hilton

February 5th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Can we just all publically admit that the Hilton family might actually be one of the WORST families in all of America? Say what you want about the Kardashians, but none of them have proven to be such thoughtless, spoiled, and disgusting brats quite like Paris Hilton and her siblings. This time, I’m referring to her little brother, Conrad Hilton.

TMZ is reporting that back in July, holier than thou brat, Conrad, went nuts on a flight from London to L.A., threatening the flight attendants and other passengers, referring to them as “peasants”. This is almost as bad as that time his big sister, Paris, wore a tank top that said “Stop Being Poor.”

Miley Cyrus Just Got Grosser

December 9th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

After Twerk-gate 2013, many thought Miley Cyrus has reached rock bottom.?? She had already taken off all her clothes and humped machinery, she wore an adult latex diaper and humped a Canadian singer about to enter D list status, so really how much lower could she go?

Well excuse me for not knowing how deep the well of nastiness goes, because Miley has gone further than I ever imagined.? And she went there with the Heiress of STDs.? I bet Liam Hemsworth looks at his clean dick daily and thanks God he got out when he did.