Paranormal - HecklerSpray

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Austria’s Mysterious (UFO) Hole

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

There’s a fact of life that polite society is loathe to admit. That fact is that sometimes Austrians enjoy staring intensely into deep holes for hours on end. Those deep holes being stared into come attached to all sorts of things,? mostly ostriches. Sometimes backyards.

In this case it’s the latter. A mysterious 25′, perfectly round hole appeared in an Austrian man’s backyard overnight. Speculation, as you might expect, is that it’s a crashed UFO. If that’s the case, it’s a very small species that were flying the crashed craft.

We think it was most likely not of extra terrestrial origin, but that it was the Rescue Rangers crashing an out of control flying shoe box while they were on an Alps-vacation. And we shall unequivocally prove this hypothesis on the next page.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Spring Heeled Jack Is Back! (Unless He Isn’t)

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Of all the paranormal topics we’ve covered over the past 6 or 7 years, Spring Heeled Jack has been one of our favorites. What’s that, now? You don’t remember him at all? Well let us give you a brief synopsis.

He was sighted all over England within a decade or two of Jack the Ripper. He was known more for scratching and jumping than killing. An original witness/victim described him like this:

“He was wearing a kind of helmet, and a tight fitting white costume like an oilskin. His face was hideous; his eyes were like balls of fire. His hands had claws of some metallic substance, and he vomited blue and white flames.”

And now he’s supposedly been sighted again. Are you curious?

Well by all means click on!

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Strange Trumpet-Like Noises Heard All Over The Place

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

A relatively new, weird phenomenon is going on right now. Trumpet-ish sounds are being heard the world over. Nobody knows what is causing the strange sound as yet, but they were especially reported all along the route of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade a few months ago. Nobody knows what the source is, though. It’s a real stumper.

We made up the Macy’s thing – but not the weird trumpet sounds thing. That actually is happening, according to baffled witnesses.

We’ll explain it all on the next page.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Weird Metal Boxes Washing Up On Beaches

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

The best thing we’ve ever found washed up on a beach is a twelve pack of Orange Crush and a VHS copy of The A-Team season 3. That provided first dates for all twelve of our most meaningful relationships.

All twelve of those occurred at a speed dating workshop. We’re not proud, we’re lonely. So very lonely.

On several beaches along the west coast of the United States a lot bigger things are getting dropped by the tide onto sandy resting spots. They’re big metal boxes that nobody seems to recognize.

It’s the latest mystery buzzing around paranormal circles – and we’ve got all the details for you right here. Just to clarify – by all the details we mean about three details. We’ve got three metal box details for you. Read on!

Awesome or Off-Putting: Don’t Worry, A Woolly Mammoth Survived (With Video)

August 7th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Several thousand years ago the last woolly mammoth was murdered by a pack or saber tooth tigers 1000 strong. Don’t feel too bad for the hairy elephant, though, because his death lives on in a super-awesome CSI episode. It was in season 2 we think. Grissom was sent back in time when he touched a magic sperm tester.

The fate of the entire Woolly Mammoth species is eclipsed only by the extinction of the dodo bird. Until now, that is. Because it ends up all woolly mammoths aren’t dead after all. Some guy in Siberia just captured one on camera.

See for yourself, sucka.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Malaysia’s Diabolical Oily Men

August 7th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

You’re familiar with first world problems, right? Running out of mustard, the laundry room is all the way down in the basement or the DVR cut off the first 15 seconds of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer. These are first world problems.

Third world problems, on the other hand, are things like two oily men with the magical powers of a witch going around trying desperately to rape all the virgins in your village.

That, reportedly, is something a district in Malaysia is currently dealing with.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Gray Ghost Sits On A Baby’s Chest

August 7th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Any haunting aficionado will tell you that there are three main kinds of ghosts; those of Christmas past, those of Christmas present & Stay Puft Marshmallow men. Occasionally, however, a fourth kind of ghost pops up.

This is the kind that haunts into children’s rooms in the middle of the night, sits on their chests & gabs about their ghostly day so long the poor kids end up sleeping in their finger paint by noon next day.

A spooky and specific account of this type is waiting for you after the jump.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Man Who Flew Over Coney Island

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Generally speaking, people don’t fly with out some kind of machine keeping them aloft. You know, like an airplane, a helicopter or an Acme rocket with a pair of roller skates. Non-generally speaking, some bat-winged guy flew 1000′ over Coney Island with tons of witnesses as reported by the New York Times.

Our initial thoughts are that it is a hoax, because all the witnesses say the thing was flying towards New Jersey. If this was true, it would have been flying anywhere but New Jersey.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Man With X-Ray Eyes

August 7th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Hecklerspray just bought 7 lead-lined safes and converted them into underpants.? Sure, our pants now look bulgy and perfectly square, but it’s worth it because we just learned about a guy with X-Ray eyes. All of our genitalia demands privacy, you see, and that’s just something we don’t think we could ever have with people like this lurking about.

You don’t believe us, do you? Well read on then – and learn about the man named Kuda Bux.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Zone of Silence

December 4th, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

Today, Mexico is mostly known as a place you don’t want to vacation for fear of getting kidnapped, murdered, then chopped up and stuffed into a pinata for your little nephew to discover at his sixth birthday party.

If drug cartels ever actually use that technique, please accept out apologies in advance. Seriously. And tell your nephew we’re sorry in advance too. Also tell him that should this ever happen, you’ll be in a better place.

The point being – Mexico is a pretty strange place. It’s jam-packed with all sorts of paranormal mumbo-jumbo. The most recent we’ve learned about is called the Zone of Silence – and it’s complete with disappearing radio transmissions of all sorts and disappearing men in bright yellow slickers.