Man Gets Paid Because Britney Spears Sprang From His Loins

Last time we counted our posterity was in 1996, at which time we had something like three sons and some girls we're told were genetically similar to us. It was a wonderful time - we played ball with the boys, we went to movies with the boys, and we lit sparklers every single night all summer long. With the boys.

Then in 2005 our daughters, whom we've always loved as if they were our own, got like $41,000 from a lawsuit stemming from a "foster home" incident. We were mortified to learn of their troubles, and want them to know we always stood by them even when they grew up in a different state. We also want them to know we like red ferraris and weekly cash gifts.

Now we're not saying Jamie Spears' parenting skills are anything like our own - but right now he's getting paid to be Brit-Brit's Daddy. In cash. Because the courts demanded it.

Justice is sweet. 

Hardly Anyone Pays For Radiohead’s New Album

When Radiohead announced that fans could pay whatever they wanted for new album In Rainbows, it was meant to show that a band could trust its fans to acknowledge all the work that goes into an album's creation and pay accordingly.

Yeah, hasn't happened. Of all the people who downloaded In Rainbows last month, less than half of them actually paid anything at all for it, it's been revealed. According to researchers ComScore, only about 40% of people who downloaded In Rainbows by Radiohead decided that paying money to hear it was a good idea, spending an average sum of just $2.26 for it. Although this could be seen as a disastrous embarrassment for Radiohead, the band shouldn't get too downhearted - after all, most bands would struggle to charge $2.26 for a bunch of songs that sound like a bunch of Broken Social Scene B-sides in the first place.