HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Kate Hudson Is Having Another Baby With That Idiot From Muse

January 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

As shown on these very pages, time and time and time again, Muse fans are the most humourless, dreary music fans who ever lived. And so, their joyless, futile lives are about to be lifted briefly with the news that Matt Bellamy’s wife, Kate Hudson, is impregnated with his seed.

How bloody wonderful.

Of course, we’re hugely cynical about the whole thing and have imagined that Hudson – Goldie Hawn’s sprog – heard about Owen Wilson expecting the pitter patter of urine drenched feet and got insanely jealous, wanting one of her own, even if it did have to be with her current beau who looks like a cast-off Tim Burton doodle.

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Night at the Museum 2 – DVD Review

August 5th, 2012 By David Scarborough

night-at-the-museum-2_448x581Night at the Museum 2 isn’t a film content with itself. When it isn’t vying for the title of most irrelevant sequel, it decides to take a trip to Ben Stiller’s house for a mass celebrity circle jerk.

This isn’t just an excuse to make a mundane sequel, but for a bunch of overpaid comedians to make few laughs out of big ideas.

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Has The Recession Finally Hit Hollywood?

May 25th, 2009 By Amy Grindhouse

owen_wilsonSome people are spoiled, some are deluded.

Some are wrapped in a bubble of inescapable idiocy and some are so far gone and delusional that not even smacking them around the face with a sharp dose of reality will do them any good.

Which of those categories the formerly likeable actor Owen Wilson falls into for his lack of ability to understand how the recession has hit ‘the little people’ remains to be seen.

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Lance Armstrong No Longer Humping Kate Hudson

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Ladies! Are you young, blonde, famous and determined to live out the minutiae of your personal life in the harrowing glare of the media?

You ARE? Well what are you waiting around here for? You’re exactly Lance Armstrong‘s cup of tea. And he’s single too, now, so form an orderly queue and before long you – yes you! – could be feeling Lance’s solitary testicle smacking repeatedly against your inner thigh during one of several sordid bunk-ups!

Lance Armstrong is single, by the way, because he’s split up with Kate Hudson. They were going out. They were. What do you mean you didn’t know? Don’t you understand how important any of this is? Cuh.

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Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong Apparently Dating on Purpose

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

You know that old saying about how a famous woman is like the village bicycle and everyone has had a ride and one guy almost offed himself after having a ride and now a famous cyclist is having a go?

Yeah, that’s a good saying.

On a completely unrelated subject, fresh off her split from Owen Wilson (again) Kate Hudson and bazillion time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong are apparently dating. They were seen out together. Eating food. Twice.

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Kate Hudson & Owen Wilson Get All Smoochy Smooch Again

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There’s nothing quite as sweet as young love, apart from maybe slightly older love featuring a bloke who quite recently tried to kill himself.

So, genuinely, it’s charming to see Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson back together again. According to reports, Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson were being all romantic together in Miami on Saturday for Kate’s birthday. Let’s hope that this time Owen and Kate’s relationship doesn’t end in the same tragic circumstances as it did before.

By which we clearly mean Fool’s Gold. Nobody should have to suffer through something as awful as that more than once. Ugh, it’s bringing us out in hives just thinking about it.

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Jennifer Aniston & Owen Wilson: A Match Made In, Um, Somewhere

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Jennifer Aniston Owen Wilson Couple Movie Marley And MeChristopher Walken, start running now – it turns out that Jennifer Aniston wants to jump the bones of anyone who starred in Wedding Crashers.

Not content with forging a relationship with Vince Vaughn that lasted almost the exact length of time of The Break-Up's promotional cycle, Jennifer Aniston is now reportedly getting smoochy with Owen Wilson.

Yes, it would appear that Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson are an item. Wow, a suicidal depressive and a woman who give off all signs of not being over the distant collapse of her marriage. Those cosy nights in together must be just scintillating.

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Breaking News: Owen Wilson Shops, Abandons Used Underpants

March 31st, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Owen Wilson Undrwear Tommy BahamaIt is a little known fact that Roy Orbison had a very rare tooth condition called toothitis. It's such a rare thing you couldn't even find it in Web MD – we tried for literally an hour. We tried for almost an hour. It was about ten minutes.

Orbison's teeth kept falling out and getting replaced every six months or so. During his lifetime he had dozens of sets, each eventually becoming loose and falling from his gums. You didn't know that did you? That's because you don't know Lou. He's the one that informed us, and has since been kind enough to sell us over two dozen of those tooth-sets for an average of $900 a piece. We paid less for the ones that looked sharp and bamboo-worn.

Stuff like Orbison's billions of teeth – well that's just celebrity memorabilia. It's a billions of dollars a-year industry for those lucky enough to be in a position to sell such things. Sometimes though, you get a piece of celebrity for free. Owen Wilson's used underpants, for instance, were recently abandoned by the man himself in a very large, successful & wonderful upscale clothing store in Maui.

Did we mention they were dirty?

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