Amy Winehouse Died In Blake Fielder-Civil’s Arms (There’s a “Nearly” Missing From That Statement)
In a bold move to try and make people remember who he is, Blake Fielder-Civil has claimed Amy Winehouse died in his arms. The problems here are twofold: one - it's only nearly died, thus removing most of the impact, and two - who the hell is
Blake Fielder-Civil?
Answers on a postcard please.
Even faced with this wall of evidence pointing to the fact that no one cares or knows who this plum is, The Sun still went and chatted to
Amy Winehouse's ex-husband where he revealed the astonishing facts of a regular junkie party for the former couple.
Dennis Quaid’s Nearly-Dead Babies Make Him Really Flipping Rich
When Dennis Quaid's newborn twins almost died from a massive blood-thinner overdose last year, it must have been horrific. And you can't put a price on emotional trauma like that - not knowing whether your own children are going to live or di... what's that? You can put a price on emotional trauma like that? And that price is $750,000? Sweet!
Dennis Quaid's family has reached a settlement of $750,000 against the hospital where his children almost died. And they were just tiny children - imagine how much we'd get if we almost died in a nightmarish medication mix up! To the hospital! It's label-swapping time!
Winona Ryder Gets Ill, But Not Enough For You To Care
Now that she's pushing 40, Winona Ryder can't really pull off that pixie waif look any more, so it's time for a change. And, as such, Winona Ryder has decided to try out a brave new look for visit to London this week. It's a look that fashion insiders have already dubbed 'worryingly ill on an aeroplane chic'. And Winona Ryder pulls it off with aplomb, or at least she did yesterday when she got ill on an aeroplane to London and had to be rushed to hospital upon landing.
But don't worry, solitary remaining Winona Ryder fan - despite rumours of an overdose, your skinny hero was quickly discharged from hospital. And for an extra dollop of good news, Winona Ryder left the airport by ambulance, so she didn't even set off the metal detectors with all the cutlery she'd been compulsively stashing down her trousers for the duration of the flight (please don't sue us for making that last bit up).
Amy Winehouse’s Brain All Effed Up On The Drugs: Claim
This is shocking news, so brace yourself - there's a chance that Amy Winehouse's dad hasn't been wildly sensational about his daughter's health for once. Remember in July, when Amy Winehouse was rushed to hospital, with
Mitch Winehouse telling everyone that she'd just had a bad reaction to medicine? Apparently that's not the case at all. Apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed on drugs again, started convulsing and might have suffered permanent brain damage.
Although the brain damage hasn't been fully diagnosed yet, there are a number of signs to look out for including a glazed expression, spontaneous muscle spasms, chronic slurring and bewildering hairstyle choices. Holy crap, do you know what this means?
Bruce Forsyth has damaged his brain on drugs!
He hasn't. He really hasn't. At all. Sorry.
Mary-Kate Olsen Demands Immunity: World Raises Collective Eyebrow
The loss of innocence is a big thing in the life, marking the point when they stop being a child and truly become an adult. When it comes to the world of celebrities, however, this distinction is harder to make. Thank golly gosh for the Olsens then, who we've been able to watch all their lives as they became adults! With problems!
The latest occurrence in
Mary-Kate Olsen's quest for womanhood has come as she seeks immunity from prosecution in the investigation into
Heath Ledger's death earlier this year. Oh how she's grown!
Mindy McCready Has A Full Throttle Nervous Breakdown
Some advance warning: in 52 weeks' time, just stay in your house - Mindy McCready's going to do something mental. Honestly, it's true. Almost exactly a year ago to the day, country singer Mindy McCready was arrested for apparently beating her mother up, and now she's been admitted to rehab following a nervous breakdown and possible overdose.
McCready's breakdown comes after the revelation that she's had a 15-year affair with US sports star
Roger Clemens. So what can we expect from Mindy McCready in July 2009? It's a tricky one to predict - mother-punching and nervous breakdowns are notoriously hard to top. We don't think she's abused any animals so far - maybe that's an avenue.
Anna Nicole Smith’s Son Didn’t Die On Purpose
For just over 18 months now, the question on everyone's lips has been 'Did Anna Nicole Smith's son commit suicide or die accidentally?'
OK, that wasn't a question that was on anyone's lips, since the sole sum of public knowledge about Daniel Smith is that he sometimes looked quite embarrassed when Anna Nicole Smith dragged him in front of the cameras on her reality TV show.
However, the inquest into Daniel Smith's death has revealed that an accidental drug overdose killed him. Truly Daniel Smith was the Heath Ledger of September 2006, albeit a Heath Ledger who wasn't in any films and had a bit of a slutty mum.
Heath Ledger: Looks Like It Definitely Was The Drugs After All
So it's official - an accidental overdose of sleeping pills, anti-anxiety medication, painkillers and other prescription drugs killed Heath Ledger.
The New York City medical examiner has declared that Heath Ledger died from “acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine,” in a report that's just been released.
As sad as this news is, we should focus on the positives - not only can Heath Ledger's family continue with their lives knowing that at least it wasn't suicide, but Heath Ledger looks set for pub quiz immortality by being the answer to the question "Which celebrity cause of death would get you the highest score in a game of Scrabble?"