The imagined coalition of ‘The West’ has been uniformly sickened with scenes of whooping rebels, cheering the deaths of Americans in various terrorist attacks. See, The West has a moral highground on this one because, when we go around killing people, we get a note from our mum’s first (or, as they’re officially known, The United Nations).

And so, this weekend, the untimely death of Osama Bin Laden has seen pretty much everyone sit up and take note. Alas, in a mass display of pot meeting kettle and pointing out what colour it is, Americans have stood in the streets, cheering and whooping the death of a man.

Political analysts have been flooding us with conjecture and opinion, most pointing out that this isn’t a matter of killing the head so the body dies, rather, this is just the beginning of yet more faeces hitting the already caked fan. But sod those guys! What do our greatest minds – musicians – think about it all?

Green Day’s intelligent singer, Billie Joe Armstrong, who once sang on an album which featured monkeys throwing handfuls of shit around, warned:

“Do not turn the man into a martyr”

Too late. Same goes for the killing of Gaddafi’s recent losses. These recent scalps saw the typically cynical Chuck D (y’know, the guy from Public Enemy – no, not the one with the clock. That’s Flava Flav) sighing:

“USA is at it again , number one in the rankings of Killing Championships. Stealing the Gold in the Murder Olympics, and the crowd goes wild!”

The unfathomably popular Frank Turner quoted Mark Twain:

“I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.”

Of course, country musicians were typically patriotic.

Blake Shelton wrote:

“Sorry if this seems disrespectful but I’m so glad that piece of absolute s**t Osama is dead.”

However, all these people with brains don’t matter. We all need to know what 50 Cent thinks about the whole thing don’t we? Well, via twitter, he simply linked to this track. Not only is the song a piece of incredibly cynical opportunism, but it also contains a Charlie Sheen meme.

Listen for yourself… and let your jaw slowly hit the floor.

Agog.

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Morgan Spurlock – a man primarily famous for eating some burgers and then bitching about it – might have found Osama Bin Laden.

That's not based on much, admittedly – Morgan Spurlock hasn't been filmed riding Osama Bin Laden around like a donkey or anything. Or perhaps he has – nobody knows yet. Morgan Spurlock's new film is entitled Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden, based – we think – on Morgan Spurlock's zany adventures travelling the world eating nothing but Osama Bin Ladens until his girlfriend starts crying and he pukes up on a pavement.

How does Where In The World is Osama Bin Laden end? Again, nobody knows. At a recent press screening for the movie, studio heads were apparently forced to sign super-secretive contracts promising that they couldn't reveal anything about the movie to anyone – and The Weinstein Co bought the film after just 15 minutes of watching it. That could mean it's something special. Alternatively, since Harvey Weinstein also executive-produced Factory Girl, perhaps it's just got Sienna Miller's tit in it.

So has Morgan Spurlock done what the combined force of the US military can't and found Osama Bin Laden? We'll have to find out at the Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden premiere next year. Having said that, we hear that the red carpet is already being strengthened to take the weight of some camels, a dialysis machine and a small army of machine-wielding guerrillas screaming "Death to America!" so who knows? It's amazing what an amplifier and a copy of Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits can get you.

Read more:

Has Spurlock Found Osama? – G4TV