Oprah Winfrey - HecklerSpray

6 Celebrities Who Need To Calm The Hell Down

October 26th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

kanye

?In case you haven’t noticed, I’m really into celebrity culture, and, for the most part I find it all pretty fucking entertaining. Most celebrities seem to find the humor in the whole “celebrity” thing, but some of them are just so goddamn intense that there aren’t enough chill pills in the world to calm them down.

After close review and severe eye-rolling, here are 10 celebrities that really need to learn to calm the fuck down and get out of their own assholes. As I am not a celebrity, no, I have not included myself on this list.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6

We Look At The Reasons Why Glenn Beck Got Attacked By The People Of New York In A Park

June 30th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Sometimes, one can only hope that Glenn Beck is the Republican version of Jon Stewart and that it was all one big joke we didn’t latch onto in good time… but there’s that gnawing feeling that he really does believe the beserk stuff he says.

And it is his views that have seen him and his family being targeted by “hateful” crowds at a screening of The 39 Steps in New York City on Monday night.

While there, Beck & Co were caught in a “hostile situation”, and if you look at his history, it isn’t difficult to see why that will happen from time-to-time. You troll people, there’s a strong chance they’ll harangue you in return. So let us glare at him at his most weird.

OJ Simpson Said ‘I Killed Nicole’ Apparently

June 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Oprah Winfrey has been shooting her mouth off saying that she’s going to get OJ Simpson to confess to his dirty murder on her television show, but alas, someone has already beaten her to it.

That source is the Daily Mail. And the National Enquirer. They never tell lies do they? They would’ve been told-off by someone official if so. This means we can take their words and reprint them as gospel.

So yeah, the words ‘I killed Nicole’ have been uttered by OJ ‘Glove Problems’ Simpson, which is nice. Is someone going to arrest him again… or something? We don’t know the protocol and can’t be bothered to find out. Simpson hasn’t just confessed, he’s allegedly spoken about how he did it. Step right this way gore fans!

Oprah Winfrey Would Like OJ Simpson To Confess One Off All Over Her

June 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Everyone think OJ Simpson committed those murders right, despite the fact he never got collared for it. Even the gloves that didn’t fit his American Football playing hands are under the impression he’s guilty.

Even an adult actress, who performed under the name ‘Devon Shire’ (you should see her cream custard) thinks he did it. Even OJ himself isn’t sure, once saying: ‘Let’s say I committed this crime? even if I did this, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right?”

Oprah Winfrey is under the impression OJ is a killer, saying that she wants to get him to confess to it while being interviewed by her. That would be something wouldn’t it? Oprah getting the goods the police force never could? Well, she did inadvertently make Tom Cruise jump around on a sofa like a man-possessed.

Shania Twain Taunts Us By Nearly Quitting Music After Throat And Emotions Fail Her

May 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Shania Twain once told us that ‘the best thing about being a woman is that you get to have a little fun.’ Of course, men have fun too. And when men and women have fun together, everything is just great, right?

Wrong. You see, in this case, ‘a little fun’ happened to be Shania’s husband – Mutt Lange – sticking his member inside Twain’s best friend in the whole world. “That don’t impress me much, uh-uh-uh-ooow“, Shania probably said at the time she found out about it all.

The fallout of this heartbreak left us all tantalisingly close to Shania giving up on music completely, never again subjecting us innocents to the appalling, vomiting country-pop smashes that briefly took over the universe like some kind of sonic herpes.

Oh Jesus Christ No! Glenn Beck To Get His Own TV Channel!

March 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Glenn Beck – the GG Allin of television* – isn’t likely to see his contract renewed by Fox. Imagine that for a second. Someone in the world who is deemed too nutso even for Rupert Murdoch. Staggering stuff.

So what can Glenn Beck do now? Have a cry about it? Roll around on the floor, masturbating into an American flag?

He might! And he might film it too! That’s because Glenn Beck is to take his brand of bug-eyed, frenzied gibberish onto his own network! If you can’t beat ’em, eat ’em! And we can only imagine the horrors that will unfold on GBTV.

Oprah Winfrey To Reveal Who Her Father Is On Her Show? (And We Know Who It Is)

January 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Oprah Winfrey has, seemingly, existed forever. She’s like a TV Mumm-Ra or something. And of course, most of her career has comprised of solemnly nodding at guests and talking about her fluctuating weight.

Good gig if you can get it.

However, Oprah also like a good ol’ overshare. She’s spoken rather candidly about the sexual abuse she endured, a teenage pregnancy and lately, pushing aside rumours that she’s a lesbian. That said, she’s got one big secret left up her sleeve and she wants to tell us all about it.

Mel Gibson Forced To Pay Back Lots Of Child Support In Fun Day In LA Courtroom

November 12th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

It’s all been a bit quiet on the Mel Gibson front of late. He’s probably seen Charlie Sheen’s meltdown and thought ‘Cool! I can relax a bit! Someone needs to show how rotten Hollywood is to the core!’

This is probably because Gibson is now in court as opposed to hiding under his duvet and swearing at his own legs (or whatever it is he’s been doing all this time).

The bug-eyed actor and Oksana Grigorieva (we’ll be glad when we don’t have to keep typing her name out over and over) were in a courtroom in LA yesterday for yet another episode of ‘Who Can Look Most Mental?’

Oprah Can’t Contact Dead Michael Jackson, So Will Talk To His Mother Instead

November 3rd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

For a period, everyone constantly wanted a piece of Michael Jackson. He then sang “Leave me aloooone!” and eventually, everyone did. This of course, saw the sad decline of a very exciting pop star. He went from blistering footwork and creator of upbeat, synth-soul… to a sad, lonely figure who would only appear in public when wincing at the sunlight.

The months leading to his death, he was to have his Elvis In Vegas moment (except it was This Is It! In London), where Jackson was to wheel out the greatest hits and hopefully give us all a taste of how good he once was.

Then he died too young and everyone in TV realised that they should have tried to get more interviews out of him because, for good or bad, Jackson is one of the more interesting characters pop-culture has ever been graced with.

Oksana Grigorieva To Talk To Oprah Winfrey About That Nasty Mel Gibson Man

September 30th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Ooooh! That Oksana Grigorieva is a nasty, leeching, shit of a human isn’t she? Right Mel Gibson fans? She’s a horrible human who has taken lovely, cuddly, possible-hates-Jewsy Gibbo and made him go mental! POOR MEL!

Unless, of course, she’s telling the truth about her claims that he punched her front teeth out and left a whole series of messages on her answer phone that would make even the nastiest hecklerspray writer blush with embarrassment.

Well, you get to look into Grigorieva’s eyes as she talks about the whole thing on television and decided whether she’s being honest, a massive liar or… um… somewhere between the two. That’s right kiddiekins – Oksana is going to bare her soul on Oprah Winfrey!