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opinion

HecklerPlay: And A Very Festive Dubstep Christmas To You

by Matthew Laidlow

Alongside all the presents and sherry we receive at this time of year, it’s also a time of year where we have to put up with a variety of seasonal music. Why we only get terrible holiday songs at Christmas is a mystery to us. Surely someone would have exploited the magic of Jesus rising [...]

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HecklerPlay: Want To Get Drunk? Then Listen To Loud Music

by Matthew Laidlow

Here at hecklerspray, we love nothing more than a good rumour. It keeps us on our toes, and because we’re just a bunch of immature morons, we’ll often add an extra layer to a story. Sadly, some stuff is fact. So horribly correct and true that we can’t run away from it. Anyone who attends [...]

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Creased or Folded? Hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

by Michael Park

Punchdrunk or Lovesick? Folded Adam Farmer drew a lovely picture of Chris Brown for us. You should really see it. Stop thinking about his penis. Phoenix Square – Everywhere needs a zombie contingency plan. Soviet Anti-Drinking Posters – Temperance is not something that we should be laughing at people. World War II – It wasn’t [...]

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Annie Lennox Shares Stress Relieving Tips (Note: Dave Stewart Is No Longer In Her Life)

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine being Annie Lennox. Just think of that for a moment. Gah. It’s rubbish isn’t it? Just think, looking at Annie Lennox’s face in the mirror. Imagine hearing that voice coming out every time you spoke. Imagine people saying “Hello Annie Lennox” at you. It’s enough to make you want to die. Annie Lennox has [...]

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Dead Musicians Are In The Running For This Year’s Christmas Number One

by Matthew Laidlow

Christmas; what a wonderful time of year. Already, town and city centres are awash with twinkling neon as they light up vomit fuelled streets and alleyways. Until Jesus’ birthday approaches, we’ll be gorging on advent calendars, cheap sherry and telling carol singers to bugger off. Everyone experiences the same Christmas traditions. Mum will blame dad [...]

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HecklerPlay – A Tribute To The Big Brass Sound

by Matthew Laidlow

So, it’s Friday night and you’re probably plotting what to do with your evening. Quite likely, it’ll be the choice of three things. Either stay in with crap panel show on TV or shove in a DVD, go down the pub or, visit the local town centre to see what nightlife is on offer. A [...]

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Marc Jacobs Perfume Advert Might Have Made A Child Look Sexier Than It Should Have

by Matthew Laidlow

Fashion designers are a funny breed aren’t they? No other profession is full of characters that are religiously followed and praised for their movements. Do you monitor the work your local builder does? Course you don’t you arrogant tool. Do you keep up to date with what a professional footbal- oh. All you have to [...]

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Hecklerspray’s ‘Masterpiece’ Albums Rival Zane Lowe’s Pompous Radio 1 List

by Michael Park

Zane Lowe is an unbearably smug son of a turd and if you disagree with that statement then you’ll probably disagree with most of this article. Ever since the days when he was sitting on a badly green-screened couch, chumming up to the Foo Fighters, Lowe has maintained the air of a man whose every [...]

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HecklerPlay – Guitars Are Evil And Kill The Rainforest

by Matthew Laidlow

Music, it’s such as innocent past time isn’t it? What could be more pleasant than watching your favourite musician at a gig whilst sipping a warm beer in a plastic glass? Those inspired by what they hear will then go and buy their own instrument to be all creative. If you’re at school, you’ll be [...]

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We Built This City On Awesome: How Starship Didn’t Make The Worst Record Of The ’80s

by Mof Gimmers

It’s very difficult to find any song in the 80s that could be categorized as ‘Good/Meh,’ they all seem to be generally awful but in different ways. All the New Romantic electro stuff, for example, has recently had a resurfacing as “cool” and “inspirational” but who is it “inspirational” for? People who want to be [...]

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