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opera

Hey! Here’s someone who is fat and old – Meat Loaf. He’s always been a big fella, but now he’s getting on a bit, you’d think he might slow down the pace a little in case that heart of his gives up under the strain.

Because he wants to peddle his preposterous operatic stadiums blues to the very last he should carry on?

Well, his body nearly put the scuppers on that, treating him to a nice asthma attack while on-stage in Pittsburgh. Of course, once his crew revived him, he carried on, cheered on by people who think its funny to encourage a needy old man to the point where he dies on-stage. And yes, we’re joining in this macabre spectacle by sharing it with you in the form of a video.

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Expect the wrath of the media and parental groups to go in to overdrive with the announcement that BBC Four are planning to screen an opera based on the life of Anna Nicole Smith. Despite the channel screening most of its content late at night and sadly having fewer viewers that its God awful sister station BBC Three, a lynch mob will be formed.

But why? What could be so disgusting about the prospect of a balding composer writing some uplifting music whilst some people sing along?

Well, we have to think of the children you see and we can’t expose them to a late night channel they’d probably never watch about a former Playboy model. It’s not like young boys and tits go together like jelly and ice-cream. Operas are usually about people falling in love and other mushy stuff. Not tit models who marry pensioners. Perhaps BBC Four want to expand their audience?

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FedericiAwesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Frederick Baker was an opera singer – and he loved his job. He enjoyed it so much, in fact, that he still shows up for work even though he’s been deceased for over a century. He died during a performance, you see, and opera house visitors who’ve never even heard of him claim to see his ashen figure still lurking about.

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Brokeback Mountain: gay cowboys winning OscarsThere are strange decisions, there are odd choices and there are some things that just make you go ‘whubluh?!’ before falling on the floor and vomiting through sheer insanity.

Then there are things that initially confuse, but soon reveal themselves to be not that stupid an idea after all – like making a TV show (and latterly a movie) about shallow, image-obsessed bints with too much money and free time on their hands. Some things in the world are just meant to be.

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