Onstage - HecklerSpray

Kanye West Isn’t Like Those Other Rappers – He Stands Dumbly In The Occupy Wall Street Protest!

October 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Kanye West is a man so needy that it actually makes the planet we stand on wince. That said, it is kinda fun to have this celebrity waltzing around with ideas that he’s the next Picasso rather than the standard fodder of self aggrandising rapper from the streets chat.

As such, Kanye is always keen to point out to everyone that he does things a little different. He’s a real curate’s egg of a man.

And he took himself down to by With The People and protestors at the Occupy Wall Street movement in New York City this week. And there, he showcased the classic ‘I’m not doing any interviews, to promote myself’ thing.

Imma Let You Finish Beyonce, Once You Agree To Kanye Being Godfather To Your Unborn Baby

September 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Beyonce is pregnant. That’s great isn’t it? Unless you’d hoped that B and Jay Z were going to adopt you in some way. She’s 3 months gone! Wow. Wait. That means she was having sex when when Osama bin Laden got killed or Ratko Mladi? got arrested for genocide and war crimes.

It seems justice, death and open war-graves turn Beyonce on. Crikey.

While everyone koochy coos about this new baby, Kanye West is shouting “FIRST” in the comments, saying that he’s already decided that he’s going to be the godfather of this baby, regardless of what anyone else says.

Jay Z Makes You Feel Like A Skinflint With $50k Tip

August 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Do you leave tips in restaurants? If there’s a few of you, you all chuck a quid in each because that seems about right? Well, you’re nothing but a sickening tightwad because, when Jay Z leaves a tip, he really leaves a tip.

We’re not talking about a tip like “condoms make excellent fingerprint disguisers if you’re robbing a chemist” or anything like that.

We’re talking about Jigga going to some place and leaving them with a $50,000. Tell that to Mr Pink from Reservoir Dogs.

Decoded: Jay Z And Kanye West’s Watch The Throne ‘Otis’ Promo

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Kanye West and Jay Z have got together to make supreme ego project, Watch The Throne. The first single taken from it is called ‘Otis’. Is that something to do with the people who make shopping centre escalators?

Of course it isn’t. That’s a stupid notion. But well done if you’ve ever noticed that mall escalators are made by a company called Otis. You’re as sad as we are.

No, this new track is called ‘Otis’ because it leans heavily on a sample taken from Otis Redding’s most famous track, ‘Try A Little Tenderness’. A little too heavily if you ask us. But what is the video like? Well, lets pull it to pieces shall we?

Kanye West Falls Flat On His Ass Due To Weight Being The Only Victim In The World [Video]

August 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

We feel sorry for Kanye West. He’s the only celebrity on Earth who gets any criticism of any sort. The rest of them are treated like Gods among men, while he is vilified and pilloried every time he opens his mouth.

Essentially, everyone is picking on him and he doesn’t like it. And he’s not taking it either! Nosiree! He’s got a microphone and worked out how to use it! YEAH!

And so, after comparing himself to Adolf Hitler at a UK festival, he’s now been ranting on a Norwegian stage about how he’s been demonised by the press. There’s a very good chance that the good people of Norway would’ve preferred him to actually perform some songs, especially after the tough month they’ve had, but there you go… ‘Ye is the only victim in the world at the moment. And sadly for West, this is all weighing on him so much that his legs gave way beneath him.

Noel Gallagher Goes Down Quicker Than Amir Khan

March 25th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Bam! Biff! Boosh! Kablam!

These are some of the sounds that all boxers experience when they are in the ring and go through the procedure of splattering someone’s brain across the ring. Or, if you’re Mike Tyson, an opponent’s ear. On Saturday Amir Khan went down in an impressive 54 seconds thanks to Breidis Prescott and lost his unbeaten record. While he had a sore head, the people who paid £14.99 for the match will have probably been a bit annoyed. They could have literally been on the crapper and missed it.

50 Cent Gets Robbed On Stage, Thief’s Parents Not So Bad (With Video)

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

In the year or our Lord two thousand and two, hecklerspray got robbed. We were calmly walking down a picturesque cobble-stone walkway when we suddenly found ourselves handing two popsicles and a toaster strudel over to a nine-year-old with a fistful of corkscrews sticking out between his fingers. We meant her fingers.

We were devastated, as that had been our lunch, and we silently swore that nobody should ever have to endure atrocity like that again. Since then no nine-year-old girls have been safe from our wrath. That’s because we bought a mask to secure our true identities, and several canoe paddles we carry around with us all the time. It’s all extremely intimidating but we’ll use ‘em if we have to – just try us little girl! We’ll knock your flower-patterned external retainer-wearing butt to kingdom come!

50 Cent‘s been robbed too, you know. It makes us feel better, like we’re not quite so lonely in our victim-ness. His robbery may take a sizeable chunk out of his horrible thug cred, as it happened onstage in front of an entire African nation of what we assume are starving, poverty stricken people.

And when you get robbed by a belly-bloated starving guy, and it gets filmed and posted on Youtube, well how can you face your friends again after something like that?

Spice Girls Drag Their Kids Onstage

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week – no, Geri Halliwell didn't do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage.

During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it's been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going "pffft" at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.