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online game

SLACKERJACK – Penguinz

by Stuart Heritage

Some days, all you want to do is shoot a penguin in the face. But since that sort of thing apparently gets you ejected from the zoo, here’s Penguinz.

Penguinz is perhaps the goriest penguin-based game ever created. All you need to do – literally all you need to do – is run around shooting other penguins andEskimos and whatnot. And that’s Penguinz. We just wish it didn’t make us so happy.

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SLACKERJACK – Death Vs Monstars

by Stuart Heritage

Epileptic? Worried that you haven’t had a really good attack in a while and you’ll lose your touch?

Then have we got the game for you. Death Vs Monstars is, in a word, manic. It’s a sort of shoot ‘em up, really, but a really fast one. But it’s not all hundreds of explosions at once – hit thespacebar and you’ll activate bullet time. That’s right – Death Vs Monstars also gives you hundreds of explosions at once in slow motion. Ace.

Play Death Vs Monstars now

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SLACKERJACK – Bloody Fun Day

by Stuart Heritage

Look, there’s no two ways about it. We were never not going to play Bloody Fun Day. It’s called Bloody Fun Day, for crying out loud.

And, although it’s impossible for a game to ever live up to a name like Bloody Fun Day, it actually comes close. It’s a puzzle game of sorts, that involves you getting rid of coloured blocks. The difference being that in Bloody Fun Day the blocks are all baby animals and you get rid of them with a scythe…

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SLACKERJACK – Driftrunners

by Stuart Heritage

It’s been ages since we’ve had a racing game as a Slackerjack, so as a treat here’s Driftrunners. Don’t be expecting Gran Turismo levels of driving realism with Driftrunners, though – it’s about as cheap and cheerful as they come. The onus here is on winning races while smashing traffic cones and trying to skid [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Shopping Cart Hero

by Stuart Heritage

If Shopping Cart Hero isn’t the most addictive game we’ve featured for more than a year, we don’t know what it is.

Seriously, the game has eaten our lives. It’s preposterously basic – you just need to jump a shopping cart off a ramp and land it – but the addition of power-ups like rockets and better wheels and groupies male Shopping Cart Hero the epitome in ‘just one more go’ gaming. Don’t play if you plan to do anything. Ever.

Play Shopping Cart Hero now

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SLACKERJACK – Perfect Balance: New Trials

by Stuart Heritage

And now for a sequel to a game we really wanted to like but were hopeless at thanks to our disgusting lack of spacial logic. It’s Perfect Balance: New Trials! Perfect Balance: New Trials is the same as the old Perfect Balance – you have some shapes and you must balance them all on a [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Ice Breaker: The Red Clan

by Stuart Heritage

And now for today’s installment of Sequels To Online Games Only Just Realised Existed – it’s Ice Breaker: The Red Clan!

And for once, this isn’t just a sequel with slightly-different but mostly-identical levels – Ice Breaker: The Red Clan introduces a whole new aspect of gameplay to proceedings. You still have to hack off wedges of ice to get frozen Vikings onto your longboat, but this time there’s a magic rock that can sort of link to things telepathically and… look, it’s confusing. Play Ice Breaker: The Red Clan and you’ll work it out.

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SLACKERJACK – Monkey Metric

by Stuart Heritage

Over the years we’ve given you plenty of online games involving characters who need to manipulate objects around them get to an exit.

Monkey Metric is different to these games, in that everything’s presented to you in the sort of blocky isometrics that were fashionable a few years ago. And it features a monkey, which was also fashionable a few years ago. Otherwise Monkey Metric is exactly the same as those games. It’s still awfully playable, mind you.

Play Monkey Metric now

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SLACKERJACK – Mushroom Cannon

by Stuart Heritage

Put the mushroom in the bucket. That’s all there is to do. Put the bloody mushroom in the bloody bucket.

If that sounds familiar, it’s because Mushroom Cannon has the exact same objective as Mushroom Guide from a couple of weeks ago. The execution is a little different – as you might have guessed, you use a cannon in Mushroom Cannon and a guide in Mushroom Guide – but that’s about it. And if anyone can explain the sudden fascination for putting mushrooms into buckets, we’d be awfully appreciative.

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SLACKERJACK – Porzellan Panik

by Stuart Heritage

Why it was just the other day we were thinking that there weren’t enough online games about little girls leading elephants through china shops by a thread of elastic.

And now look, here’s Porzellan Panik – a game where you do exactly that. And it’s genius. Leading a clumsy elephant through a maze of crockery with knocking any of it over or running out of time makes for a surprisingly tense game – even more so since Porzellan Panik seems to have been designed with a deliberately awkward control system in mind, too.

Play Porzellan Panik now

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