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There’s nothing better than a nice antique leather chair to help you relax after a long day at work.
Well, this theory may be put to the test with the announcement that Nancy Dell’Olio is to pose naked in an upcoming edition of everybody’s favourite spunk-rag, Playboy.
The Strictly Come Dancing star is apparently really eager to show everyone just what Iggy Pop’s chuff would look like if he were a woman.
Chocolate! It’s a wonderful invention. Not only did it get thousands of American soldiers laid during the second world war, it’s also a tasty treat that you can give your kids. Your kids who will die of a fatty liver by the time they’re 25. Not only that, it’s an indulgent treat for you to force down your gullet at every available second while telling yourself that it’s just a little slip-up.
It might not surprise you to learn that there are loads of ways to advertise chocolate because it’s such a universally beloved product. The big question is that of the target market. If there isn’t an established target market for product then we end up with mad-eyed children, planting ideas about milk chocolate in your head through a hypnotic eyebrow dance.
That kind of confusion might spark ‘water-cooler’ conversation but it doesn’t make anyone want to eat a bar of Dairy Milk, no matter what anyone claims.
It’s not easy to be nasty professionally. For a start, people automatically assume that you have no heart and that if you do, it’s a blackened, flaking husk that makes people unable to spend time in the same room as you. Admittedly for the most part, that’s true. Sometimes, you also have to poke fun at something that you wouldn’t usually consider an acceptable target.
However, here at hecklerspray we don’t “hate on” people unnecessarily (unless they’re a celebrity) and, to that end, we don’t want our readers to think that this article is going out of its way to disrespect its elders. hecklerspray writers are regularly in contact with the elder members of our community and, once we’ve stolen their wallets and purses, we sometimes give them their bus passes back.
Not always though. We wouldn’t want people to think we’re soft.
It’s official: our gracious, noble Queen Liz junior, has rewritten the record books again by becoming the longest living British monarch in history.
According to Buckingham Palace officials, who have taken into account the exact time Queen Victoria – Liz’s great-great grandmother and now ex-record holder – was born, our own current Queen became the oldest ‘serving’ monarch at 5pm this afternoon.
Since Naomi Campbell became legal back on 22nd May 1986, she has opened her legs at pelvis-breaking speed to welcome any new black icon that has emerged onto the scene – Mike Tyson, Usher, Damon Dash, P Diddy and that bloke from U2 are among a legion of others who were all more that happy to acquiesce to her chuff-based request.
But modern day hero Lewis Hamilton, the prodigal driving boy with the kindest face in the world, has shown his maturity again by refusing to park up inside Naomi's cordial car park.
The 22-year-old F1 star, who has been seen with the 37-year-old supermodel on several occasions in recent months, insists the age gap is too big for them to have a relationship.
