The Mel Gibson divorce continues to shock – who knew people couldn’t love alcoholic bigots with terrible beards?

But whatever. Now we know that Mel Gibson’s wife Robyn has had it with his twinkly smile and tequila-breathed Jewish ranting, it’s time to work out why the divorce is happening. Is it because of Mel Gibson’s rumoured canoodlings with Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova?

Apparently not. Oksana’s reps have denied the affair, presumably on the basis that Mel Gibson is old enough to be her chuffing grandfather and there’s a good chance that his elderly penis would splinter off inside her during intercourse.