Even though it’s only February, we’ve already been treated to a couple of music awards. Within the space of forty eight hours, we’d seen our American chums dish out awards at The Grammys and back in more homely surrounds, London’s O2 arena was used to host The Brit Awards.

Asides from different hosts and performances, both ceremonies were roughly the same. E.g. winners, performers and happy cocaine dealers.

Nobody these days dares promote experimental sounds and the trophies picked up are usually by the same acts that’ll only use them as doorsteps. What we need is something where bands are rewarded based on the merit of their talents, not sales.

Unusually, it appears that MTV are leaping to the defence of music by embracing the new digital age with an online based music awards. Here it seems they’ll be more categories than just “sexiest female.”

Once upon a time, MTV used to be seen as a leader in broadcasting music. Instead of being caught up in celebrity gossip like it is now, all sorts of music would be played, encouraging viewers to indulge in a bit of metal, hip hop and whatever else took their fancy.

Flagship shows such as 120 Minutes gave alternative and underground artists the chance to showcase their work and reach a wider audience. The same show also allowed creative types to demonstrate their directing and animating skills showcasing talent across other mediums.

Alas, those days are gone as programmes like Pimp My Ride, Cribs and My Super Sweet 16 have taken over. All of these shows are basically the same. Either we’ll see some idiot, who doesn’t deserve anything, showcase their wealth and rub it in your face or some under-appreciative brat will get all teary eyed because their brand new car that’s worth more than your house isn’t the right shade of blue.

So what’s happening exactally?

“MTV is naming its new digital music awards the OMAs – and leaving the ‘O’ up for grabs. The network’s O Music Awards will take place on April 28, with MTV leaving the ‘O’ open to interpretation from viewers. The network said the awards “honour the migration of music to the digital space, and celebrate the art, artistry and technology of digital music.”

Just like the invention of iTunes, this seems nothing more than a professional body of individuals thinking of a concept for something that has been around for ages. Let’s think about it shall we?

In the beginning there was Napster, an illegal P2P file sharing system where songs could be painstakingly downloaded on a 56k dial up connection. Countless others came along and only when the music industry realised they were losing money was it decided that illegal music downloaders were naughty people who needed their wrists slapped. iTunes was the first real legal way of downloading music legitimately but convincing people to pay for otherwise free content? As you thought, something of an uphill battle.

The OMAs seems slow off the mark in terms of embracing the digital age. We guess that social interaction is being encouraged here so that voters will get the chance to pick the mystery O in the awards title. There is a horrible, sneaking suspicion that this may just be exactly the same as every other award ceremony with The Arcade Fire bagging gongs, but we live in hope.

MTV could be on to a winner if they go about it the right way. Emphasis needs to be focussed on the polar opposite of what we’re used to now. Small record labels need to be honoured, alternative festivals praised and sub genres given recognition. Okay, the current penchant for dubstep may die in a year, but why not honour those making the songs that have influenced artists in pop culture such as Britney Spears?

So MTV, when can we expect our invite?

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Oprah Winfrey is big. We’re not talking physically big here. That’s a given.

We’re talking about an ego so freakin’ enormous that it operates like a gargantuan black hole, physically and spiritually swallowing up everything in sight – man, woman, child, baby back ribs, U.S. First Ladies – you name it.

Well, just when we thought that we understood the awesome light and matter-consuming force that is Oprah, she goes and does something completely uncharacteristic of someone whose personal fortune was not built on prattling on and on about Oprah. Turns out, Oprah has ushered in a brave new world where people other than Oprah are seen on the cover of Oprah’s magazine, O (for Oprah).

We have to admit that we were blindsided with the news that Oprah had magnanimously opted to share the front cover of O magazine’s April issue with someone not named Oprah. Turns out, the universe is also occupied by another sentient being named Michelle Obama. Huh. That is some messed up shit.

According to Oprah’s editorial, she decided to make room for the U.S. First Lady in an attempt to keep the cover of O “looking fresh”, and sure enough the feature interview is chock full of fresh, yummy details regarding Michelle’s shoes, exercise regimen and decorating style. Gloria Steinem, your head may explode now.

Oprah’s newfound inclusiveness however comes to a full, screeching stop near the end of the interview when Oprah returns to her favourite subject, Oprah:

Oprah: A reporter who once interviewed me ten years after she’d first met me said, “Gee, you’re the same person—but it feels like you’ve become more of yourself.”

Becoming more of yourself…hmmm…

A word of caution to the patrons of all-you-can-eat buffets everywhere. Never, ever approach Oprah when she is in the process of becoming more of herself. Just back away slowly, and discreetly gesture to the manager. Our prayers will be with you.

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