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Puny Disney milktoast, Nick Jonas, is so lacking in edge that he’s akin to some amorphous blob with eyebrows. However, it is vitally important that young women fancy him, or else he loses all sense of value to his team.
So what can he do? How can he aimlessly wander into the fantasies of pre-pubescent women again? There must be something!
Hey! What’s this? Here’s a news story about Nick Jonas feeling that he’s “open” to the idea of going naked on stage. How useful!
Going directly against the orders of Michael Bay, Megan Fox seems to be doing exactly the opposite to piling on some poundage.
Whereas the explosion-loving director ordered every young boy in the world’s wet dream to put some weight on for Transformers 2, the actress has revealed that she instead decides to clean herself out with vinegar.
No, we have no idea either.
But, reports have flooded in on all the websites you would hope to print them – namely the ones aimed at already-image-conscious young teenage girls, who are now likely to think that drinking vinegar is a viable dieting option. What a great example these Hollywood types set each and every day.
Daniel Radcliffe may well be the face of Harry Potter, but he’s already made great headway towards getting away from being pigeonholed.
The way he went about this was to go on stage and get his penis out. It’s a classic technique, and one we’ve surely all practiced at some point in our lives. If we have the necessary equipment, of course.
But what happens when you’re pottering about (PUN!) getting your bits out on stage around the same time that the new chapter in a kids film, in which you star, is coming out? Well, kids, Harry Potter 6 gets pushed back eight months, if the wild, rampant and ker-azy speculation is to be believed.
Yes kids – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince isn’t coming out because of Daniel Radcliffe‘s penis. That is one of the greatest sentences we’ve ever had to write, even if it isn’t actually definitely true.
There’s some damn weird logic working in this world.
If a 23-year-old male singer were to say that they wanted to kiss a 15-year-old pop sensation on Sunday, they would rightly be chastised. Probably shot or lynched too. Or just looked down on a lot. They’d probably write a book about their experiences a few years down the line, when the dust had settled.
But when it’s a 23-year-old female singer saying they want to play tonsil hockey with a child this Sunday then it’s just laughed off… Hang on – what? That’s not funny. That’s just dodgy.
For ages, hecklerspray believed that the most intimate act a married couple could engage in was the exchange of saliva when ramming their tongues down each others throats.
However, we were proven wrong when we were told that a couple can prove their love for each other by ‘creating a baby’. This literally knocked us back, throwing into disarray our previous notion that a child is created using flour, the tears of an orphan, vanilla extract, nail clippings and the sweat from a man/woman depending on what sex you wanted the child to be.
In days gone by, people would takes months to even kiss each other – never mind engage in any sexual goings on. Having a baby would only happen a good few years after marriage, under the eyes of God and surrounded by an approving society. However, we now live in a culture where a girl will flash her tits for half a pint of lager or for a couple of cold chips.
So just imagine our disgust when we found out our number one celebrity fan and all round grasper of swear words Lee Ryan has left his pregnant fiancée of eight months.
From DIETPIXIE – Someone please give Jack Black a cheeseburger.
Why? Well, for starters, shoving it in his big, fat chops might shut him up.
Secondly, it could be the only way we can stop him from doing nude scenes.
That’s right – nude scenes!!
‘Nude scenes’ and ‘Jack Black’ – if ever there was four words that should not appear together in the same sentence it’s that right there.
And you’ll be disgusted to know that the Kung Fu Panda star has done them before (In Margot at the Wedding – just in case you are some twisted freak and want to check him out.)
Lindsay Lohan is set to strip off in her upcoming film.
That’s right, according to MTV UK, Lindsay Lohan is going to take all of her clothes off. She is going to get completely naked – can you imagine that??
Of course you can. Everybody can. At just the mention of her name your mind’s eye was no doubt engulfed with images of her inflated bosoms hovering around you.
There's a constant battle in America between the FCC – which believes that you go to hell as soon as you see a nude body, even your own – and the titty-loving TV networks.
And the latest scrap to break out is between the FCC and Fox. You see, half a decade ago, Fox showed some digitally-obscured boobs on a barely-remembered reality TV show and the FCC has just decided to fine it $91,000 for doing so. However, Fox is refusing to pay the fine, calling it "arbitrary and capricious, inconsistent with precedent, and patently unconstitutional."
By doing so, Fox has kick-started a hard-fought ideological debate about morals, indecency, ethics, free speech and censorship that could change the shape of American broadcasting forever. Plus it's about boobies. Wheeeee!
