In 1492 when Axl Rose was first granted permission by Spanish royalty to seek out a shorter trade route to India, he set out at an eager pace.

Instead of trade routes, however, he discovered the Americas. When his foot first set on the western world’s sandy shores he swore a solemn vow to one day release an album to honor that occasion. He gave a title – Chinese Democracy. A strange name for the album’s occasion, if you ask us.

But alas, he certainly has taken his time in fulfilling that oath. He has been busy though – what with all that ending slavery, covering all of WWII with a warm blanket of peace, and flying to the moon in a rocket-ship he built himself just for the self satisfaction of beating Neil Armstrong to it. Also he translated the bible back to the original Greek. He never took credit for the latter.

But apparently he’s cleared his schedule – because a Chinese Democracy release date has reportedly been set.

It wasn’t so long ago that Axl Rose’s legal team sucked the marrow from the bones of some kid who posted most of Chinese Democracy online without anybody’s permission. Before that he told Rock Band 2 they could steal as many of his songs as they wanted. Before that he said concretely that he was a Mr. Pibb man, and definitely never intended to ever be anything else.

Most recently though, Rose said he’s finally ready to unleash his musical infant-opus on the global public. Well, technically he didn’t say that – but people close to him have. According to Billboard.com:

“More than a decade after its conception, Guns N’ Roses’ “Chinese Democracy” will finally see the light of day before year’s end, sources close to the situation confirm to Billboard. As first reported here, the set will be a Best Buy exclusive and will be available Sunday, Nov. 23, rather than the usual Tuesday.”

Well that’s probably good news for several people. As for us, we’re more looking forward to the album he puts out after Chinese Democracy. We’ve heard working titles are: Don’t Be Afraid To Drink Chinese Milk Anymore, Hey kid – You Sucking on A Chinese Toy? Well By Gum Keep Doing It, Sorry Your Pets Died Eating Chinese-made Pet Food, But They’ve Got It Under Control Now, or some other title that’ll never ring true.

Somebody get that guy a Grammy shelf.

Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company’s decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick – the one with the funny name – back.

Alright, so it’s only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still – come on. Give us a break here.

The reason for the move was given as a simple one: ‘we want more money’. Technically not what they actually said, but ‘moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market’ is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.

While we do wish we could live in a world where money wasn’t such a driving factor, where advertising wasn’t so rampantly killing off the reputations of entertainers and where focus groups didn’t decide what we could watch and when… well, we don’t. Which means you have to wait an extra week to see Quantum of Solace in the US.

We don’t, mind, as we’re in Britain. We still get the thing on October 31st, which makes us a great deal better than you, our wonderful trans-Atlantic chums. In your face! It also shows that the film isn’t being pushed back because of any kind of curse that may be going around, which is nice.

Speaking to Variety, the Sony chairman of something and something else blah distribution world said:

“We believe Nov. 14 is a great date that allows us to play straight through Thanksgiving and right into Christmas. We believe this decision will give the public a wider opportunity to see the film over the holiday.”

Like we said – it’s pretty transparent in the reasoning, but they still try and hide the fact that the decision was made for more delicious, life-giving money. Instead, it’s put as being for your benefit. Bless them – they really do care about you*.

Nevertheless, the wait for Jimmy Bond’s latest outing is sure to be worth it, with the trailer making it out to be one long fight. We’re not complaining – two hours of brawling is something hecklerspray would pay good money to see, along with paying $250 for other activities.

To make the wait that little bit easier, check out the official song to Quantum of Solace – far better than this poorly-thought-out effort by two relative unknowns – as provided by the world-renowned composer Joe Cornish**:

It certainly works better than the original teaser.

*They don’t care about you.

** This is all a lie. It is not the official song. He is a British comedian.