Everyone had a really good weekend, looking forward to Monday, in the hope that Saint Bono was actually going to die. It looked odds-on too, as he was rushed into a hospital with a heart so heavy about the plight of the third-world, it could no longer continue.
But alas, like all great news, it was too good to be true as it emerged that there’s pretty much nothing wrong with Bono and that, in fact, he’s made a pact with Jesus Christ Himself to outlive absolutely everyone on Earth, just so he can have the last word.
The prick.
Read More >>>
Celebrity death spreads like wildfire. As soon as someone as much as wonders if a famous person has died, American gossip websites leap into action with grainy photographs of random corpses. The latest, Bill Cosby.
Now, the man who is still the posterboy for dodgy knitted jumpers has been accused of being dead four times in recent years, consistently failing to be actually deceased. This latest death defying act was shouted on his Twitter account when he came out to tell everyone that he was alive.
He even appeared on the Larry King show last night to further underline his aliveness. Read More >>>
You know, since Michael Jackson died – we literally haven’t eaten a thing. We just can’t.
Well – not to say we can’t eat anything. What we mean is when we eat things now – we only consume things that we think he would have cherished. Like veal. Because it’s young.
We haven’t drank anything either – except for milk, juice, and water. Our family and friends tell us we have to eat something else or we’ll die. We say we refuse to – not in a world without MJ!
Lucky for our thinning frame, then, Michael’s not actually dead. Here’s video to prove it.
Read More >>>
The fact that Patrick Swayze is still around nine months after he was apparently given five weeks to live is clearly impressive.
What’s more impressive is that Patrick Swayze has got his pancreatic cancer on the run. He’s responding well enough to the treatment that he’s even made his own, admittedly quite rubbish-looking TV show.
So Patrick Swayze doesn’t seem like he’s on death’s door. And if you think he is, keep it to yourself, because Patrick Swayze is so furious about it that it’s all he can do not to get all penultimate scene of Ghost on your arse.
Read More >>>
Hey, there, New Kids on the block fan(s?)! Good news!
Your favourite band member that isn’t Jordan or Joey or Jonathon or Danny is on the market again, and just in time for the NKOTB reunion tour.
That’s right. Donnie Wahlberg is available now that he’s getting a divorce.
Word is that he wants to be unfettered for the band’s reunion, which is totally smart because you never know when some chick is going to mistake you for your hot, drastically more successful younger brother. And you gotta be ready for that, man.
Read More >>>
