Why do we love vampire movies so much?

Vampires are essentially pale, scary-looking monsters who dress in black and drain the life-force out of anyone who crosses their path. Maybe Hollywood should make a movie about emo lawyers or tax inspectors. Should go down a scream at the box office.

Anyway, the point is we love vampires. Can’t get enough of them.

They can be sexy (Queen of the Damned, Twilight, From Dusk Till Dawn), funny (Lost Boys, Fearless Vampire Killers), scary (Nosferatu) and, of course, plain ridiculous (that’ll be Twilight again, Blacula, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter).

But which vampire film has the most bite? Well, taking into account that Twilight 2 has got teenage girls all around the world frothing at the mouth, we have decided to come up with some real vampire movies worth seeing.

Enjoy!

26. The Night Stalker (1972)

Otherwise known as a ‘Vampire in Vegas’. Yes, Vegas. It’s good, honest.

25. Blood for Dracula (1974)

Dracula finds out it can be a real bitch trying to locate a virgin in Italy.

24. The Hunger (1983)

OK, so old vinegar tits Susan Sarandon is in it, but vampires and sex is a winning combination.

23. Dracula (1931)

A classic.

22. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

Film is good enough for you to forget about how appalling Keanu Reeves is in it. Just about.

21. Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Yet more lesbians and vampires – genius.

20. Blacula (1972)

The best film about an African prince who is turned into a vampire after being cursed by Dracula….ever.

19. The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

Not exactly Roman Polanski‘s finest work, but entertaining nonetheless.

18. Mr Vampire (1985)

A Chinese horror movie that is simply brilliant fun. If you have never seen it, get it out now.

17. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

A modern reworking of a classic that surprisingly does not suck.

16. Salem’s Lot (1979)

Creepy as hell film which made you think twice about opening your window to your floating, dead brother.

15. Underworld (2003)

A leather-clad Kate Beckinsale soon makes you forget about the ridiculous plot and script.

14. Cronos (1993)

Guillermo Del Toro shows his class.

13. Black Sunday (1960)

We hate Sundays too. So boring.

12. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

There are three very good reasons it belongs on this list: Salma Hayek, Salma Hayek and Salma Hayek. Plus it’s a very good excuse to show the clip again.

11. Horror of Dracula (1958)

Christopher Lee‘s finest performance as Dracula.

10. Day Watch (2006)

Slightly superior second chapter of Russian director Timur Bekmambetov‘s unique tale of the battle between good and evil.

9. Brides of Dracula (1960)

Marriage can be a real bitch.

8. Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

Unmissable film about the making of the 1922 vampire classic Nosferatu. Of course, it turns out the main actor in it is actually a vampire. The last time that happened in real life was when Reese Witherspoon appeared in Sweet Home Alabama.

7. Interview With The Vampire (1994)

Even Tom Cruise is good.

6. Nosferatu (1922)

A classic film, upon which every single vampire film must be judged.

5. Blade (1998)

The opening scene alone is worthy of a top five place.

4. Martin (1977)

Admittedly, it sounds more like a movie about an accountant, but it is brilliant….honest!

3. The Lost Boys (1987)

Whatever happened to Corey Haim? So many good lines, but our pick is: “You’re a dirty, rotten vampire Mike. Just wait till I tell mom.”

2. Near Dark (1987)

Almost the entire cast of Aliens makes Near Dark a must-see for any horror movie fan. Simply brilliant.

1. Let the Right One In (2008)

Best movie we have seen for at least a year.

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Why are we so fascinated by vampires? From Dracula to Buffy, it seems we just can’t get enough of the bloodsuckers.

But why? Do we secretly crave the idea of becoming an empty soul, devoid of human emotion, and only interested in satisfying our own wanton bloodlust through the corruption of innocents. A bit like Madonna. Or is it just because we like the idea of good lie-in. Never growing old is pretty good too. Mind you, you’d miss the sunshine. But then again, we live in England, so it’s swings and roundabouts.

Whatever the reason, we just can’t get enough of them. How else do you explain the popularity of Dr Gillian McKeith‘s You Are What You Eat? Indeed, it seems anything is acceptable as long you dress it in a long, black cloak, fangs and a ghostly complexion. Maybe Hillary Clinton should try it. Oh, she already has (terrible joke, we know).

Anyway, hecklerspray has decided to pick through the crud to find the best Hollywood vampires – and we don’t mean the studios.

8. David
Film: The Lost Boys (1987)


Jack Bauer is a vampire. Oh yes. Not sure what’s more frightening: the fact he’s a bloodthirsty killer or the fact he has the balls to have that hairstyle.

7. Blade
Films: Blade (1998), Blade 2 (2002), Blade Trinity (2004)

OK, Wesley’s Snipes‘s titular hero is in fact half-vampire and half-human, hence the reason he can walk around in daylight. But as we’re never going to do a list for the top 10 movie characters that are half-vampire, half-man, it’ll have to do. The opening nightclub sequence in the first film sets the tone for what is a brilliant series.

6. Count Orlok
Film: Nosferatu (1922)

OK, technically, he and Dracula are one in the same as it’s an unauthorised version of Bram Stoker‘s Dracula – with the names changed to protect the not-so-innocent. But, again, give us a break! Why do we like Nosferatu so much? It looks really dated – not surprisingly for a film made in the 1920s – and the dialogue is simply appalling. But, even to this day, there is something about Count Orlok himself which just creeps us out. The silhouette of him and his incredibly long fingernails coming up the stairs really sticks in the memory.

5. Selene
Films: Underworld (2003); Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Forget the ridiculous story and the shitty special effects, Kate Beckinsale‘s sexy vampire assassin is worth the admission alone.

4. Santanico Pandemonium
Film: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

If you had never heard of Salma Hayek before, you certainly did after this film. One of the most memorable movie entrances ever.

3. Severin
Film: Near Dark (1987)

If you have never seen this film, you must rent it out immediately. Basically, it’s almost the entire cast of Aliens (minus Sigourney Weaver and, of course, the xenomorphs) as gun-toting, ass-kicking bloodsuckers.
And at the top of the list is Bill Paxton‘s wisecracking vamp Severin. Simply brilliant.

2. Mr Barlow
Film: Salem’s Lot (1979)

One of the scariest vampires ever. We did not sleep for a week after watching this. OK, we were five.

1. Dracula
Films: Too many to list here

Whether it’s Christopher Lee, Bela Lugosi, Gary Oldman or, er, Gerard Butler, every generation has their own Dracula. And so will the next generation, and the next, because his story will be told over and over again. Dracula has almost become synonymous with horror, and just like the character, will live on. Although, can we just say, Keanu Reeves‘s display as Jonathan Harker in Francis Ford Coppola‘s 1992 film is probably the worst ever performance by an actor. He really should not have been paid for that. Glad to get that off our chests.