Now we know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that we can’t possibly top yesterday’s Eurovision profile.

And you’re right. We can’t. Yesterday we profiled the worst Eurovision song in history, and nothing can come close to even equalling its magnificent awfulness. But here’s the next best thing – the favourite to win Eurovision. Relax, though – it’s performed by a child who’ll you’ll probably want to injure.

Here, then, is the Eurovision 2009 profile for Alexander Rybak from Norway…

Norway · Alexander Rybak, Fairytale

Believe what you read and you’d think that Norway had this year’s Eurovision Song Contest all sewn up. After all, it’s a little bit Irish-sounding, it’s written and performed by an impossibly young handsome international star and musical polymath and it got more selection votes than any other song in Norwegian history. But look a little closer at Alexander Rybak. Look at all the precocious confidence in his cocky little voice. Look at the carefree way he throws back his shoulders. Look at the unnaturally thick flop of his hair. Alexander Rybak, friends, is nothing more than the Norwegian Ray Quinn. And as such he must be stopped. Stopped, you hear? STOPPED!

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The Eurovision Song Contest is less than three weeks away, and you know what that means – Eurovision betting odds!

You know MySpace? You know how it’s for the kids? Well what if you’re a kid who likes Eurovision? Then you’re stuffed, which is why the Eurovision website has launched MyEurovision – it’s just like MySpace, except you’re only allowed to talk about Eurovision. Seriously, talk about anything other than Eurovision and a sinister European man comes round and kills you in your sleep.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Norway, with help from Paddy Power…

Norway (pop. 4,593,031; a Nordic country on the western portion of the Scandinavian peninsula) Maria, Hold On Be Strong

Hold on be strong? Well there’s an original sentiment, well done Maria. Looking at Maria’s biography, however, it turns out she’s actually a fairly accomplished singer – she’s played Dorothy in a major stage production of The Wizard Of Oz and participated in Norway’s Pop Idol. However, one thing she’s clearly not so shithot at is English, which is a shame because that’s the language her Eurovision song is written in. The lyrics of Hold On Be Strong are perhaps the worst in the competition this year – “Love can be hard sometimes/ Yes it can catch you off guard like bad crimes” is honestly the opening line – but Maria’s inflection is so far wide of the mark that you can only really follow what she’s singing if you concentrate really hard. And, no, she doesn’t say the word ‘bullshit’ at the 1:20 mark. We checked. Current Eurovision betting odds – 40/1

Tomorrow: Poland! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.