It’s our favourite time of the year – the time when the shortlisted nominees for next year’s induction to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame are announced.

Why is it our favourite time of the year? Because we know that from hereon in, it’s going to be a whistlestop pedal-to-the-metal seven-month funride until the bands eventually chosen to go into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame get properly inducted. Seven months. Seven poxy months that we’ll never get back. Fun.

So who could be going into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame next year? Why only Run-DMC, Metallica, The Stooges, Jeff Beck, Wanda Jackson, Chic, Little Anthony And The Imperials, Bobby Womack and War. That’s War the concept of organised military disputes between feuding nations and not War the 1970s jazz-funk fusion band responsible for hits like Why Can’t We Be Friends, by the way. That struck us as weird, too.

Of all the different ways that the Rock And Roll Hall Of fame can make you angry – like the awkwardness of reuniting bands or the desperately bad musical tributes or the inescapable fact that none of it actually matters in the slightest – we think we’ve found a new one.

It’s exactly the same every year. Every year Chic get nominated for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, and every year The Stooges get nominated for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame and every year neither of them do because of the long-winded and confusing multi-stage voting process. Do you know what it’s like knowing that you’ve got to write exactly the same thing about Chic and The Stooges every year? Do you? It’s bloody awful.

However, this year we’ve got our fingers crossed really tight for both The Stooges and Chic get inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. We think they will, as well, because most of the other nominees this year are crap. But first we’ve got to wade through seven months of bureaucratic nonsense. Reports Reuters:

Artists become eligible for the Hall of Fame 25 years after the release of their first single or album and are represented in an exhibition at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland, Ohio. More than 500 music industry professionals will choose five of the nominees for the 24th annual induction on April 4 in Cleveland. The inductees will be announced in January.

So who’s been nominated for induction into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame? Here’s our rundown.

Run-DMC - Rappers responsible for hits like Walk This Way. DMC actually stands for Dog Muck Clodge, after the time that Reverend Run once made a fanny out of some dogshit.

Metallica – Heavy metal group responsible for hits like Enter Sandman. Now more famous for their film Some Kind Of Monster where they all sat in a circle, wanked each other off and then cleaned bugs out of each other’s fur with their fingers than for their music.

Bobbie Womack – Responsible for hits like Let Me Kiss It Where It Hurts. Legally changed his name to Bobbie Womack from the original Boobie Woman in 1974.

Jeff Beck – Responsible for hits like Rock My Plimsoul. Actually invented the guitar – before him, people just used tennis raquets and their own mouths.

Chic – Responsible for hits like Freak Out and Good Times. One of the most influential bands in history, Chic’s fingerprints can be felt all over everything from No Surprises by Radiohead to Here Comes The Bride.

Wanda Jackson – Responsible for hits like Funnel Of Love. Having studied at RADA, Jackson’s first achieved fame with her role in Ken Russell‘s Women In Love before becoming a household name with her portrayal of Queen Elizabeth I of England in the BBC’s 1971 blockbuster serial, Elizabeth R. Now a Labour backbencher representing Hampstead and Highgate.

Little Anthony And The Imperials – Responsible for hits like Shimmy, Shimmy Ko-Ko-Bop. Named ironically, since the band were all medieval peasants and Little Anthony was actually Megatron from Transformers.

The Stooges – Responsible for hits like Search And Destroy. Recently reformed, The Stooges now play concerts exclusively at wakes and pet bar mitzvahs.

War - Responsible for hits like Spill The Wine. One of War’s songs was performed at the end of Lethal Weapon 4. For allowing this to happen, everyone in War is legally a twat.

You’re welcome.

While everyone can agree that the writers' strike has gone on for too long, they all also secretly agree that it'd be nice if it just went on for long enough to screw up the Oscars.

However, as signs of a deal tentatively edge ever-closer, it looks like the Oscars might be business as usual again. And all the Oscar nominees had the traditional Oscar nominees' luncheon yesterday to prove it, with Academy president Sid Ganis promising that the show would go on regardless of the strike.

But that begs the question: what will the Oscars be like with no jokes, no song-and-dance numbers and no fun? Why, they'll be just like the Oscars, you halfwit.

The writers' strike has naused up Hollywood something rotten lately. Thousands of crewmembers are out of work, Lost is only going to be on for eight episodes instead of sixteen and the Golden Globes met a grisly end. But can the writers' strike kill the Oscars? Um, well, there's a possibility of that, we admit. But can the writers' strike kill the sort of luncheon thing that the people nominated for Oscars usually go to each year? NO!

How could the annual Oscar nominees' luncheon possibly be cancelled when it's responsible for golden Hollywood moments like Keira Knightley talking about herself? That's why every single actor and actress nominated for an Oscar attended yesterday's luncheon, with the exception of Cate Blanchett. And Johnny Depp. And Tom Wilkinson. And Daniel Day-Lewis, Saoirse Ronan, Tilda Swinton and Tommy Lee Jones. And Philip Seymour Hoffman. But everyone else turned up. Well, George Clooney and the girl from Juno did, anyway. The Los Angeles Times reports:

The Oscar nominees' luncheon — a long-held tradition at the Beverly Hilton Hotel that usually kicks off the giddy weeks before the televised ceremony — couldn't quite shake the long shadow cast by the 13-week writers strike, despite news that a settlement could come as early as Friday. George Clooney, nominated for his performance in the legal thriller "Michael Clayton," strode into the press room looking tan and trim and joking that he had just returned from "two weeks in four conflict zones" and was entering yet another.

And what's more, the president of the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Scientists Sid Ganis whipped the crowd into a quasi-biblical frenzy with his never-say-die attitude to the writers' strike:

"The Oscar exists because the academy founders believed movies were not just a business and people need to be reminded of this. We did it 80 years ago in the Blossom Room at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, and we'll do it again at the Kodak Theatre in three weeks."

Yeah! Except if the strike is still in effect on Oscar night then none of the actors will turn up because they don't want to be seen crossing a picket line, and there won't be anyone to present or accept any awards, and nobody will have written any jokes for the opening speech. And it might go down as one of the biggest embarrassments in showbusiness history.

But on the other hand, if all that happens we won't get to see Eva Longoria gonking up and down a red carpet dressed in what looks like a seat-cover from a 1983 Ford Sierra minicab. So it probably all evens out, really.

Read more:

Oscar nominees are eating lunch in this town again - LA Times