Noirin - HecklerSpray

Big Brother: Noirin’s Out, And She’s Taken Her Idiot Boyfriend With Her

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Yeah, well done Big Brother – this gimmick of bringing in the housemates’ partners is working a treat, isn’t it?

Remember when Karly‘s boyfriend was brought in, then Karly was evicted, then her boyfriend did a runner immediately afterwards? Well guess what – Noirin‘s boyfriend was brought into the Big Brother house last week, then Norin was evicted, then her boyfriend did a runner immediately afterwards. We don’t know what to say – other than that the Big Brother producers should probably get Lisa‘s girlfriend in pronto.

But now Noirin’s gone, here are the Big Brother housemates who’ve caught our eye this week…

Big Brother: It’s Noirin Vs Marcus

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Unless another self-absorbed bellend decides to hoik themselves over the perimeter wall, tomorrow’s Big Brother eviction will be a special one.

The housemates up for eviction are Noirin and Marcus – two thirds of the most unnecessarily melodramatic relationships in the history of Big Brother. If Noirin goes, both Marcus and Siavash lose their dream girl, and if Marcus goes… well, if Marcus goes there won’t be a little fat bloke dressed as Wolverine wrapped in a blanket in the middle of the Big Brother garden all the time.

So who’s going to leave the Big Brother house tomorrow? Let’s find out…

Big Brother: Tom Effs Off

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Thanks to Kenneth rubberstamping his tossishness by legging it over a wall last week, there wasn’t a Big Brother eviction on Friday.

But there’s still one less Big Brother housemate than there was on Friday morning, and that’s all thanks to Tom. Tom – who you may recognise as the muscular posho who periodically thought he was Maxwell from Big Brother 2005 – also left the Big Brother house this weekend because – oh, actually, who cares? He was rubbish anyway.

Instead of profiling the housemates who’ve caught our eye this week, we’re actually going to look at some of the loose Big Brother couples today. Exciting…

Big Brother: Holy Blimey, They’re (Almost) All Up For Eviction

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Now that Big Brother has approximately 42,000 housemates, a cull seemed like the most sensible option.

So a cull it is – this week, 11 housemates are up for eviction, with only Lisa and Rodrigo definitely safe – which is ironic, because Big Brother‘s entire audience is desperate to get rid of Lisa at the first opportunity.

We’re not going to talk about all 11 nominated Big Brother housemates, because frankly we can’t be arsed, so let’s concentrate on the three who stand most chance of being evicted tomorrow. So that’ll be Noirin, Marcus and Kenneth, then…

Big Brother: What? Halfwit’s Not Up For Eviction? WHAT?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

We’re confused. Scared and confused. Scared and confused and incontinent. And it’s all Big Brother‘s fault. Sods.

Why? What did Big Brother do? It didn’t nominate Halfwit for eviction this week. Don’t these idiots understand how Big Brother works? Nothing ever happens and then Halfwit gets nominated for eviction. THAT’S HOW BIG BROTHER WORKS, IDIOTS!

But this week, oh no. The Big Brother housemates have realised that a bucket of plague couldn’t shift Halfwit from the house, which is why Shiavash, Dogface, Noirin and Karly are up for eviction instead. So let’s have a bloody look at them, then…

Big Brother: No More Kris. Good.

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Hooray! Kris and his ridiculous floppy clown wig have been evicted from Big Brother! We never have to type the word ‘Krogface’ ever again! Hooray!

Let’s not dwell on Kris’ Big Brother eviction because, well, it was boring and he was boring and hopefully he’ll go away now. Instead, let’s focus on the good news – Big Brother is finally introducing some more housemates this week! Brilliant! A bunch of people who the Big Brother producers deemed to be even less interesting than the current lot are going into the least-interesting Big Brother house ever! Boy oh boy, this is going to be… oh, what’s the word? DULL!

Anyway, here are the Big Brother housemates who have caught our eye this week…

Big Brother: Angel Gone, Others Unfortunately Not Gone

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Poor old Angel. Just a few weeks into Big Brother and already she’s been evicted. How sad.

Whatever will Angel do with her life now? Apart, you know, from her professional boxing, professional singing, professional tattoo-artisting, fashion design, fitness coaching and all-round looking a bit like a man? We literally have no idea. That poor girl’s all at sea. We’d worry about her, but we’ll have forgotten what her name is by Wednesday so it hardly seems worth it.

Anyway, now that Angel’s gone, here’s who’s been catching our eye in the Big Brother house this week…

Big Brother: Beinazir Gone, Whoever Beinazir Is

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Big Brother started on Thursday night, right? Wrong.

In actually fact, if you want to be bewilderingly petty about it, Big Brother only started last night. Because last night, the final housemates were given official housemate status. True, that meant saying goodbye to Beinazir, but we’re sure she’ll go on to have a bright future. Those Subway signs don’t hold themselves up, you know.

So now we know who the final Big Brother housemates are, the ‘fun’ starts here. Let’s take a look at the Big Brother housemates who’ve caught our eye so far…