Posts tagged as:
Regressive simpleton and spokesman for the thunderously stupid, Liam Gallagher, has decided that his opinion is worth a shouting at everyone… almost like people who use twitter. Y’know? Shouting at the ether?
And oddly enough, he’s decided to drag his knuckles into view and start shooting his lantern gob off about twitter like a frightened troglodyte frightened of a passing automobile.
Basically, he thinks twitter is for dicks.
Since Oasis split-up, we’ve literally been beside ourselves with apathy. The Gallaghers went from being feuding in the same band to… well… feuding in bands that sound like Oasis. It’s almost like nothing’s happened at all.
Still, with that, we’ve got twice the opportunity to peer at their collective work, with Liam’s Beady Eye churning out grot-boogie and Noel… well… turning into Badly Drawn Boy.
And he’s got a new record out and you can hear a snippet of new song – ‘I’d Pick You Every Time’.
Manchester. What a stupid, damp city. Swarms of middle-aged idiots in Adidas Samba waddle around with their bowed Ian Brown legs poking out from their khaki jackets and dreadful moddish haircuts, all recalling a time when it was alright to ‘ave it.
Alas, those Madchester days are long behind them, leaving them nostalgic and pink faced from cans of Stella, clutching their copies of It’s Great When You’re Straight, Yeah and feeling more mellowed toward The Smiths since Johnny Marr started acting like one of them.
And sure, while bands like The Enemy and Kasabian are around to plug a gap, there’s nowt like a band of Manc gobshites to really scratch that itch. So when Oasis split, the world seemed over. But then! Lo! Liam Gallagher brought Beady Eye to be the rebirth of NoWaySis which they could shout “COME ON!” in their Pretty Green t-shirts! And then Noel Gallagher released a sensitive solo single which reflected The Manc’s new, softer outlook on the world which coincided with the birth of their first daughter – Stacey. All they need is a night out with Noel. A gig to relive the glory years. BUT WAIT. What’s this? No show?
Since Oasis split, people have been dividing themselves up into two camps – Camp Liam And His Beady Eye and Team Noel And His High Flying Birds. Weirdly, all this taking of sides clouds the fact that both parties are prone to releasing very average music.
The irony here is that the feuding siblings are actually turning into Lennon versus McCartney, whom they both so dearly admire. Alas, their heroes were also prone to making distinctly average solo records after the Beatles split.
So if Liam sees himself as the aggressor with forays into manly sensitivity, then Noel is fast becoming the Macca, complete with cod-thoughtful lyrics and a little more musical adventure than his brother who is determined to fly the flag for rock ‘n’ roll (which has been dead for years).
Liam Gallagher, a man who facially resembles a cross between a Dickensian henchman and a brain damaged howler monkey, is well known for holding certain controversial views on the world around him. He’s the kind of gent that, if he were punch a GPS satellite out of the sky for ‘looking at him funny’, most people wouldn’t be 100% surprised.
Now, the former front brother of Oasis has decided to launch into a fashion crusade in an effort to clean up the image of some of music’s biggest stars. The bowl-cut-toting funster’s love of the finer fashions have often seen comparisons drawn between him and some of the most flamboyant characters in modern celebrity and fashion.
Who can forget that parka that he wore at Glastonbury 1996, T in the Park 1998, V Festival 2005, Knebworth well, actually… pretty much every live show that Oasis have done**. Still, it had a nice furry hood and was very practical in the winter, according to his mummykins.
Oh no! The world’s coming to an end! First Oasis, the greatest band in the world ever split up and now the Gallagher brothers can’t even reunite to watch one of them swagger down the aisle with his beloved lass.
It’s a terrible world that we live in, folks but we’re just going to have to accept it.
The Beady Eye frontman – who has avoided his sibling since their group Oasis split in August 2009 following a series of explosive rows – insists he hasn’t been invited to tomorrow’s nuptials between the John Lennon’s failed clone and Sara MacDonald, in spite of Noel’s recent admission that he wanted the knuckle-dragging, droning ape to squeeze his hair-covered torso into a tuxedo and swing his way to the church.
Liam Gallagher is a man who has shown no mercy for absolutely anyone on Earth, including his own reflection. He’s tooted drugs, swilled special brew and had his teeth knocked out while swaggering around like a braying scally faecal hammock, ready to spout off about anything and everything.
Sadly, like most pigeon chested indie frontmen, he doesn’t even come close to having the talent to back up his ego, which invariably makes him all the more likeable or interesting as a pop culture case-study.
However, all that boorish bad boy nonsense could be a thing of the past because now, he’s into sardines and spirituality (which in fairness, sounds like an Oasis LP title).
If Japan hadn’t suffered enough, last night, they had a gig which featured Beady Eye, Paul Weller and Richard Ashcroft on their consciences too. Someone should do a further benefit gig for them to cope with this newest slop of news.
Even though the gig did a good thing by raising over £150,000 for the victims of the horrifying tsunami and earthquake, that doesn’t mean we should eschew our obligation to mock the collection of awful, awful feathered cod-mod haircuts that were on show.
Not to mention the terrible, plodding, faux-anthemic white boy rock peddled by a bunch of bloated blokes in bootcut jeans.
