Spring is in the air, those gloomy winter days are behind us for another year and we can look forward to all of the joys that the sunshine brings: flowers blooming, birds singing and, most importantly, BOOBS!

That’s right, it’s the time of year where celebrity clothes disappear at the same rate as clouds.

This week we’ve been treated to many a celebrity disrobing, so we’ll break them down one by one… over the jump you penises.

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey:

Right, none of us actually care about what Nick Cannon’s love gun looks like, so we’re going to focus on his naked missus, Mariah.

Mimi has decided to strip off for various magazine covers (and some of those classy black and white pictures that apparently don’t count as porn) to show off her pregnancy bump, because that’s beautiful or something.

We here at hecklerspray aren’t as convinced, we’d much rather have seen her in the altogether before she was knocked up, but maybe that’s just us.

Kaley Cuoco:

She’s the one from the Big Bang Theory. When we initially heard that there were pictures of some lass from something called the Big Bang Theory with her knickers down we had pictured something completely different.

But we’ll give Kaley top marks for trying anyway, even if the picture was sold to us under false pretences.

Bridget Moynahan:

Her picture in the annual nude issue of Allure magazine (which is also the source of Kaley Couco, Keri Hilson and Ashley Tisdale’s naturist debuts) is lovely, but if we’re honest we have no idea who she is.

According to Wikipedia she’s some sort of model and actress who used to be married to an American football player.

Well… good for her.

Keri Hilson:

This is another picture from the rather grotty looking pile marked nice but of unknown origins. Hilson is an American R&B singer apparently, but we can’t really vouch for that.

All we can tell you is that we’re glad they went with her for this photo shoot and not Adele, because while Adele’s voice is beautiful you have to admit she has a bit of the Beth Ditto thing going on.

Ashley Tisdale:

Ms. Tisdale is the one from High School Musical who no one really paid attention to because Vanessa Hudgens was more attractive and a better actress/singer (which, when you think about it, says a lot more about Tisdale than it should).

Anywho, even though our Ashley looks good with her arse out, we can’t help but feel that this is just a cheap attempt to get as much attention as Vanessa does whenever she releases nude pics of herself.

The problem is that Vanessa is more willing to go down the hardcore route, which doesn’t leave Ashley with much of chance of being glanced at now, does it?

It might be worth mentioning that these are all professionally shot pictures, so there’s no chance of you gawping at nipples or anything naughty in the pictures (unless we’re talking about Vanessa ‘hardcore’ Hudgens), which is most likely the only reason you read this article anyway.

We probably should have put that at the start of the article. Sorry.

Pervert.

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OMG guys, OMG!!!! OK, let’s all calm down. We know it’s hard! (No pun intended – OMG – we actually did intend that pun!! OMG what are we like!?!?) But let’s all take a breather and compose ourselves.

Tits!! Sorry.

Tits. Sex! TITS SEX TITS BOOBS! No! Really sorry guys!

OK. Phew.

Right, we really have calmed down now. Sorry about all that but, taking it as read that you, dear reader, are human and are aware of the potent brain retarding powers of the sexual image, then you can no doubt fully empathise with hecklerspray’s frat boy like reaction to the extraordinary nipple sighting of one of Britain’s most respected authors, Katie Price, at her latest book launch.

Katie Price was born in Brighton on May 22 1978. For about 18 years after that not much happened until, one day, she stumbled across a magic man wielding a scalpel who said he could make her unfathomably famous in exchange for a shitload of cash. She took up the magic man's offer and, sure enough, within weeks she was sleeping naked with Teddy Sheringham in a huge pile of the Queen's face (as well as first Governor of the Bank of England, Sir John Houblon – lest we forget).

And that was ages ago! Loads more has happened since then and she is celebrating her celebrity lifestyle by releasing her 37th autobiography, Jordan: Pushed To The Limit.

Her writing isn’t for everyone, but if you’re looking for a book where one page goes into heart-breaking detail about the difficulties of raising a disabled son, closely followed by a meticulous description of the throbbing glory of Dwight Yorke’s penis, then Katie Price is definitely the author for you.

In her latest book, you can loom forlornly as Jordan's "rollercoaster life… shows no signs of slowing down"; pity her as she battles with the "emotional challenges" of "post-natal depression"; experience first-hand her "traumatic miscarriage" (note: not a chirpy miscarriage – a traumatic one); pray for her soul as she "continually fears for the safety and health of her children and husband" and realise the irony of it all as she tells us that her "desire and appetite to succeed know no bounds."

Hang on a minute? Why do we care about this? Oh yeah, Jordan's tit fell out at the press conference! TITS!! She’s gone and got herself some free publicity! How does she do it? OMG!!!

Read more:

Jordan accidentally flashes at book launch – Heatworld