You would think the movie-going public had something against horny teenage girls.

Why else would slasher movies – which basically revel in killing them off – be so popular? We just can’t get enough of them. Mind you, it’s not only the cheerleader types that usually end up in body bags. There’s the jocks, of course. Then the nerds. Leaving the weird loner types to usually save the day.

We are sure this has some kind of social significance and insight into Western culture, but we are a snarky entertainment site, for God’s sake. We are not here to educate.

No, what we are here to do is make completely random lists. And we cannot think of a better one than the top 26 slasher movies. But what exactly is a slasher movie?

Well, according to Wikipedia, that well-known source of all things accurate, a slasher movie is: ‘a  sub-genre of horror, typically involving a psychopathic killer (usually wearing a mask) who stalks and graphically murders a series of mostly adolescent victims in a typically random, unprovoked fashion, killing many within a single night.’

And that is just about good enough for us. So, enjoy!

26. The Prowler (1981)

The best movie ever about a killer dressed in S&M gear who hates dancers. Or something like that.

25. Stagefright (1987)

Acting can be murder sometimes. Just ask Keanu Reeves.

24. Hatchet (2007)

A recent movie that did not get the hype it deserved. Has some of the most astonishing movie deaths we have ever seen.

23. Psycho (1960)

OK, so it does not involve teenagers in a camp, but it is certainly a slasher movie.

22. Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

Proof kebabs really are bad for you.

21. Last House on The Left (1972)

A classic from horror master Wes Craven. Contains some of the disturbed scenes ever committed to film.

20. Candyman (1992)

Oh, and candy can also be very bad for you too.

19. Pieces (1982)

Grisly little-known horror flick that is worth a look. Just be prepared to feel a little sick.

18. House On Sorority Row (1983)

A group of sorority sisters are stalked and murdered one by one in their sorority house while throwing a party to celebrate their graduation. Nice.

17. Madman (1981)

After being told if not to repeat the name of the local psycho as it would mean he would appear and hack all of you to bits, what would you do?

16. Terror Train (1980)

Forget the rubbish remake, Terror Train is classic horror. A must-see.

15. Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)

14. Black Christmas (1974)

We’ve all had crap Christmases, but it could be worse…

13. Final Destination (2000)

See, making death (or the grim reaper) the baddie, really is not fair.

12. The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Proof remakes, when done well, really can work.

11. April Fool’s Day (1986)

Some people really take the whole April Fool’s Day thing a little too far.

10. Suspiria (1977)

Horror legend Dario Argento’s greatest movie.

9. Child’s Play (1988)

We were tempted to put Bride of Chucky in, but stuck with the original.

8. I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Buffy, Jennifer Love Hewitt and the fisherman from death – now that really is enough to get you hooked.

7. My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Rated by Quentin Tarantino as the ‘greatest slasher movie of all time’. What does he know about movies?

6. The Burning (1981)

We don’t care what anyone says – this is a brilliant movie. So there.

5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Really uncomfortable viewing – which is usually a good sign of a decent horror flick.

4. Scream (1996)

Breathed new life into the slasher movie genre.

3. Nightmare on Elm Street: Part 1 (1984)

We just can’t get enough of child murderers.

2. Friday 13th: Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

The best in the series.

1. Halloween (1978)

Simply the best.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

But it's OK, because Michael Bay has decided to produce a new Nightmare On Elm Street movie, so we're sure that'll be rectified shortly.

And if we cross our fingers really tight, maybe the new Nightmare On Elm Street will feature a new version of Freddy Krueger who breakdances and speaks in childish Ebonics because he learnt how to communicate through the internet. Fun!

If there's one thing that Michael Bay loves, it's picking something you liked as a child, throwing it on the floor in front of you and smashing up under his foot, laughing and pointing at you as it happens. That's what happened when Michael Bay turned Transformers into a knockabout teen comedy featuring at least two piss jokes and an ending that showed some giant robots staring at two teenagers having sex on top of another robot.

But that's just the tip of the Michael Bay iceberg – his movie Pearl Harbour was so bad that we expect it angered any old US veterans who saw it for sullying their pleasant memories of the brutal atrocity. And Bad Boys II must rank alone as the only thing in history to make people nostalgic for the good old days of Bad Boys I.

And now Michael Bay has decided to work his special kind of magic over Nightmare On Elm Street, the daddy of the slasher movie that made an icon out of a pancake-faced murderer in a Pete Doherty hat. Hollywood Today reports:

Fans who thought the “Nightmare on Elm Street” was over better think again. Production companies Platinum Dunes and New Line, which established itself as a hit-maker after the initial success of the first “Nightmare,” are hoping to breathe new life into the series… With the on-going WGA strike, no scribes are signed-on to the new project, but producers Michael Bay, Brad Fuller, and Andrew Form revealed that their intent is to uncover the history behind Krueger.

That's great – the history behind Freddy Krueger. It'll be just like that witless Halloween remake from last year, then. Maybe we'll discover that Freddy Krueger went bad because he was bullied at school, or because his little sister consistently got a better age at Wii Sports than him. These are the precise things that drive people to murder and rape, after all.

But kudos to Michael Bay for deciding to remake it. Because it'll certainly be challenging for him to ruin a film that's already been ruined by seven increasingly shit sequels. So Michael Bay is really going to have to pull his thumb out if he wants to properly destroy everyone's memory of Nightmare On Elm Street properly. After all, he's got this to contend with.

Topping that will be a tough job, but if anyone can do it, it'll be Michael Bay. We believe in you, Michael.

Read more:

Freddy Krueger Back From the Dead, Elm Street Worries – Hollywood Today