Who doesn’t love the X-Factor? Oh that’s right, people who listen to supposed “real” music. They’re the types who’ll only listen to music made by those who play their own instruments, write songs without the word “love” being mentioned and only release fifty copies of their album on limited edition cassette tapes.

For everyone else, Saturday nights on ITV are awash with yoghurt adverts, technical glitches and the occasional performance. This year, the judging panel line up has changed dramatically with only Irish demi-arse Louis Walsh remaining to continue to mentor the novelty act category.

The most surprising judge to break the dreams of overweight teenagers this year is Kelly Rowland. Prior to getting work in the UK, she was best-known for being one of Beyonce’s backing dancers in Destiny’s Child. We can’t knock her for hitching a cheap way to the top. With the sole responsibility of mentoring the girls category in X-Factor, you’d think she’d have a clear focus. But no, it seems she’s sex mad.

Frankly, it’s about time that Kelly Rowland developed a bit of personality and became more than just the shouty American woman on X-Factor who seems a bit lost. After all, Gary Barlow is badly filling in as the pantomime villain whilst Simon Cowell wanders off across the pond to exploit an American singer to stardom. Elsewhere, Tulisa is filling in for whatever Cheryl Cole did. So what does Kelly have to say for herself?

“You can’t keep me away from a good sex shop. Those are interesting places. I go with a bunch of people that way no one recognises me.”

Now some people would class an interesting place as somewhere that inspires them; a stunning piece of art in a gallery, carefully constructed architecture or just venturing out of their comfort zone to experience something new. But for Kelly Rowland, the sight of a PVC gimp suit with matching vibrator belt seems to do the trick.

However, Kelly only visits good sex shops, so what makes a bad one? Would it be if any dildos returned to the shop weren’t disposed, but instead repackaged with the pubes removed and put back But if you’re a star like Kelly Rowland, how do you visit filth shops. That’s right, use a disguise and she supposedly did this the other night when Janet was evicted. It was reported she donned:

“An orange turban and huge sunglasses.”

Unless she managed to hide her boobs and female figure, any perverts in the sex shop would pounce on her like zombies and literally maul her to death, kind of like when Mufasa got destroyed by those wildebeest in The Lion King.

After another night of boredom, Dale and Stuart face the public with only one outcome looking possible… Bye Dale, your time in the Big Brother house is up.

They have yawned their way through the week only getting animated when nature called, yet it does seem slightly unreal that next week there will be no Dale – or, as an outside bet, no Stuart.

But with the odds changing regularly, who are we to say that Stu will remain an outside bet? To be perfectly sure, you’d have to check Paddy Power. But, to be honest, Stu will most likely remain an outside bet.

Dale has been there since day one and despite his yawn… yawn… lack of drive this week, he had been central to the show previously. This was especially true during his love-games with single mum Jen, who got booted out sharpish on Stuart‘s arrival.

Now he’s wasted what is probably going to be his final week keeping the sofas warm and occasionally summoning up the energy to actually talk. Big Brother betting odds 1-25

Stuart was introduced to the show some time after it began, cruising into the BB compound on a bike to steal the girls’ hearts and crushing Dale’s hopes of being the beefiest hunk in there. Though in the end there were no stolen hearts.

One of the hunks must go – and Paddy Power reckon it’s Dale, seeing as Stu’s odds look a bit like this: Big Brother betting odds – 8-1.

So, who to win? If Dale goes, there will be ten housemates left. And here is our quick-glance guide on how they are likely to fair.

Darnell, currently in with a bloody good shout, may have upped his chances with his Sara antics. Big Brother betting odds ­- 7-2.

Mikey, the public’s favourite, may blindly walk away with title number nine. Big Brother betting odds 9-4.

Kat, despite being shrill and amazingly annoying, she does seem to have the public behind her. Big Brother betting odds – 10-3.

Rex, who has treated his girlfriend Nicole to his more distasteful traits since her late arrival in the house, may have cooked his goose with the fans. Big Brother betting odds – 12-1.

Rachel, the target of Rex‘s bullying, got a lovely message from mum this week and cried… Bless! Big Brother betting odds – 5-1.

Lisa, mummy of the house, will make the final day before leaving first. Big Brother betting odds – 14-1.

Mo, the afro kid with the big belly has chomped his way through this BB. Will go before the final day. Big Brother betting odds – 40-1.

Sara, the Aussie target of Darnell‘s affections, may be an outside bet for the title. Especially if the flirtation with D continues. Big Brother betting odds – 20-1.

Nicole… yawn… did you put her in just to wind Rex up, BB? Big Brother betting odds – 66-1.

Put them all up next Friday BB, let’s get rid of some more dead wood. Don’t forget that the odds are likely to have taken a big hit after tonight’s eviction and the weekend’s antics could change everything a great deal more – check with Paddy Power to see where things are headed.

Story By Richard Hughes