Articles tagged with: Nicole Richie
Admit it - when Nicole Richie called her last baby Harlow, you were worried. Harlow's a good crappy name, but not a great crappy name. But, Nicole Richie, welcome back to the table. You were on the ropes for a while - because calling a baby Harlow is almost like calling it Emma or another dirty civilian name. But, God bless you Nicole Richie, you weren't deterred by your failure. Instead you got pregnant again and promised to give your next baby the stupidest name possible. Ladies and gentlemen, may we introduce you to Sparrow James Midnight Madden. For crying out loud.
Are you a fan of Nicole Richie and a fan of the band Good Charlotte? Then have we got some news for you! You like bad music and you're an idiot. There. Oh, and also Nicole Richie's pregnant again. We probably should have done that bit of news first, in retrospect. But anyway, Nicole Ritchie has announced that she's pregnant with her second baby by Joel Madden. We don't know if this pregnancy was planned or accidental, but rumour has it that pregnancy is the only way that Joel Madden can stop Nicole Richie from disappearing when she turns sideways.
One oft-neglected side-effect of giving birth is the overwhelming desire to star in overtly showy prohibition-era Broadway musicals.
Just look at Nicole Richie, for example. For some logic-defying reason, she's currently weighing up an offer to star as Roxie Hart in the Broadway version of Chicago.
It'd be awfully presumptuous of us to try and second-guess what issues Nicole Richie is weighing up exactly, but we're willing to bet that they include rehearsal schedules, being able to spend time with her new baby and the fact that if she was any less talented at anything other than forgetting to eat she'd be legally reclassified as vegetation.
Good Charlotte were an awful band, right? We weren't just imagining that, were we?
Because for a gang of pointless sub Blink 182 pop-punk gormloids, Good Charlotte members have managed to score themselves some fairly high profile girlfriends. Joel Madden from the band famously got Nicole Richie pregnant, and now his brother Benji has wound up dating Paris Hilton.
We know. We're just two small marriages away from Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie becoming related. And we're fairly sure that'll bring about the end of the world in Ghostbusters Gatekeeper/ Keymaster scenario. Nicole being Rick Moranis, obviously.
Photos of what are claimed to be Nicole Richie's newborn baby daughter Harlow Winter have appeared online, giving away vital clues as to what she looks like.
And here's a newsflash - Nicole Richie's newborn baby daughter Harlow Winter looks like a bloody baby. Small? Check. Wrinkly? Check. Wearing a nappy? Check. Liable to scream and shit itself at the same time? Check.
Of course, we could be wrong and the pictures might not be of Nicole Richie's baby at all. For all we know Nicole Richie's baby could be nine feet tall, completely silent and as smooth as eggs. But, you know, she's probably not.
While a lot of fuss has been made about Christina Aguilera's baby, let's not forget that Nicole Richie also had a baby this weekend.
In fact, the birth of Nicole Richie's baby daughter was probably even more spectacular than the Aguilera birth because, by pushing six pounds and seven ounces out her body all at once, Nicole Richie managed to lose three fifths of her bodyweight almost instantly.
And, oh yeah, the father of the baby says that it looks like Nicole Richie. That was going to be our original point.
Life used to be so much simpler than it is now.
Take raising children, for one. We have fond memories of when parents would pack us into the back of the station wagon for 12-hour road trips to Nana’s house like a bunch wild animals hopped up on generic soda and Cheeze-Its. Nowadays you have to secure the little tykes into properly installed safety seats and can’t strap one to the luggage rack when they keep counting the bottles of beer on the wall and just… won’t… SHUT UP.
And whatever happened to the good old days when a six-month-pregnant woman who has surrendered all self-restraint to the nicotine gods and habitually smoke in peace? Maybe Nicole Richie knows, because she was spotted smoking a few ciggies in a scenario very similar to this one.
Or maybe she wasn’t. It could have just been a rumour. That’s what Nicole Richie is saying, anyway.
