Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
So the Oscars were last night, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed them. They were just political enough in the sense that 1) it’s important for them to be political, and 2) but Jesus Christ let’s take a break from this shit for just ONE night and celebrate some good movies, you know?
Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, Viola Davis, and Mahershala Ali all won acting awards, and La La Land won Best Picture…EXCEPT IT DIDN’T! Moonlight did! However, La La Land did win for like a minute. It was a whole thing.
My favourite day of the whole year is just nine days away so you can go ahead and expect non-stop Halloween related posts between now the 31st! Today I’d like to talk about my favourite group of ladies: witches.
For years, witches were portrayed as evil old hags out to spoil your crops and steal your kids or some shit. This is bullshit and historically inaccurate af. Today, I’d like to focus on some of the hot babe witches that pop culture has blessed us with. Yes, the title says 10, but you know me, I count groups as 1, so it’s more like 20ish.
Australian actress Nicole Kidman has had a long and interesting career where she pretty much gets naked for most of the movies she has done. And you get to see here naked here, woohoo!
There’s a really list of Nicole Kidman nude scenes. In fact there are more movies where she has gotten naked then movies where she hasn’t. We’ve collected all of Ms Kidman’s nude movie scenes in a nice little gallery for your viewing pleasure.
This includes pics from shows like Malice, Cold Mountain, Billy Bathgate, Bangkok Hilton, Windrider, Dead Calm, Birthday Girl, The Portrait of a Lady and Eyes Wide Shut. Yeah, we haven’t watched most of them all.
Katie Holmes is on the upcoming issue of Glamour magazine and she looks like an absolute fox. I mean, a real 10. And inside the magazine she gives an interview that, dare I say, doesn’t creep me out. Remember back when she was with Tom Cruise and she cut all her hair off and only gave interviews that sounded like she was whacked on Ativan and said “magical” in like every sentence?
Well, like Nicole Kidman before her, now free of Tom and Scientology, Katie has re-embraced the hot, stopped drinking the magic kool-aid so she sounds like a real person again, and is rebuilding her career. Hot bitches who are better off without Tom Cruise: 4*, Scientology: 0.
Legend tells us that if any wrinkles ever appear in Nicole Kidman’s forehead, it means that we’re in for six more weeks of winter.?
If that’s true then you might want to stock up on thermal undies and mulled wine because the Ice Queen is on the warpath. The object of her wrath is a guy called Carl Wu, who was apparently so dazzled by the sun bouncing off her marble face that he drove his bicycle straight into her. The poor guy almost lost his bandana.
Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman divulged some interesting information?about her marriage and subsequent break-up with creepy superstar/Scientologist Tom Cruise in DuJour magazine’s Winter issue. The most?noteworthy revelation is that Nicole did actually love Tom and didn’t want the marriage to end.
I always assumed that?Nicole and Tom’s?relationship was exactly the same as I assumed Tom’s relationship with Katie Holmes was … despite being minor stars themselves when the relationship began, Nicole and later Katie were starstruck and flattered by the attention of?someone of his stature (not height-wise, but prominence-wise), but then gradually they'realized that he was kind of awful. Based on Nicole’s interview, however, it seems that?wasn’t the case?… for her anyway.
Here at hecklerspray, we take stalking very seriously indeed. So seriously in fact, we spend all of our bingo winnings on really hi-tech night vision goggles making sure all those celebrities are safe from harm while undressing in front of their bedroom windows at night.
However, in the days before Tom Cruise was the only slightly sinister man to follow Nicole Kidman around, she has revealed that she was once stalked as a teenager.
This wouldn’t have happened on our watch.
What is the point of Adam Sandler? Sure, there was a time when his mongrel-like face, annoying laugh and humour as subtle as getting diarrhoea in a library was kind-of-okay and sorta charming, but now he’s officially gone too far.
That manchild routine may have been acceptable in the ’90s, but it’s 2011 and mass audiences will not put up with his crap anymore.
OK that’s a lie; his films always gross an obscene amount of money which convince people to finance his future films and leave those with any sort of taste weeping in the corner while trying to understand why the world is such a depressing place.
Remember Nicole Kidman from BMX Bandits and that Robbie Williams song? Well, she’s a new mother and she’s positively glowing about it. That’s because she’s had her Ready Brek, not because she’s ever been pregnant.
The Scientology escapist announced the birth of her and husband Keith Urban’s daughter called? Faith who was born via someone else who Kidman didn’t care about them getting their vagina’s stretched beyond recognition.
And now, she wants another baby. Well she would, wouldn’t she? It’s a piece of piss when all you have to do is sit around with your arms expectantly wide, waiting for someone else to fire it into your embrace.
Nicole Kidman isn’t famous for much, but we can almost certainly all agree that her most famous roles were in BMX Bandits and that perfume advert where she garbled “I’m a daaaahncer! I love to dahnce!” with that one-night stand who wore a vest and had greasy hair. The hussy.
Anyway, in real life, she’s The Woman Who Escaped The Thetans and now, someone who has brought another future disappointment into the world aka a baby human being.
Kidman and her country warbling husband, Keith Urban, have announced that they are now parents of a new baby daughter. A daughter that was born with a surrogate for some reason. We can’t be bothered to find out why, so we’ll just assume that it is down to laziness.
