Nicole Forrester - HecklerSpray

Hey, remember that time that Josh Duhamel was accused of cheating on Fergie by boning a stripper?

Sure you do. It only happened a week ago. What? You’ve forgotten already, on the basis that Josh Duhamel is the dullest man who’s ever lived? You think that wasting even a drop of brainpower on someone as inherently dreary as Josh Duhamel is a criminal misuse of humanity’s potential? Yeah, us too, actually.

But tough, because the stripper who Josh Duhamel allegedly had his ferociously mundane way with isn’t letting go of her moment in the spotlight. She’s publicly apologised to Fergie for having sex with her husband, whatever his name is. We’ve forgotten already. That’s how boring he is.

We know what you’re thinking – why would Josh Duhamel even think about cheating on Fergie with a stripper?

Well, let’s count the ways. First, both Josh Duhamel and Fergie are apart a lot. Then there’s the knowledge that he’d be having sex with someone statistically less likely to burst into My Humps during orgasm. And also, if you enjoy having sex with people with a fondness for crystal meth – like Fergie does – but you don’t enjoy hearing them bang on about it all the time – like Fergie does – then where do you go? That’s right, the strip club.

Nevertheless, Josh Duhamel says that he definitely didn’t have sex with a stripper, even though the stripper says he definitely did.

Stripper Apologises To Fergie For Boinking Her Husband

Josh Duhamel Denies Banging Stripper Behind Fergie’s Back