Nick Cannon - HecklerSpray

Why Does Nick Cannon Wear Turbans?: An Investigation

March 11th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I know I’ve been slow blogging this month and there are really two reasons for this: 1) Celebs have decided to not be all that interesting this month, and 2) I’m doing my second Masters degree and I’m busy af. However, I’m back now, and ready for another hard-hitting HecklerSpray investigation!

My friend Caelie texted me last night to see if I had any idea why Q-List celebrity Nick Cannon is constantly wearing turbans these days. While I’d noticed him doing it, I wasn’t able to answer her question because I had no idea…until now!

Mariah Carey Got Her Ass Dumped

October 28th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Remember last month when I wrote that blog about how Mariah Carey flipped the fuck out at her billionaire fiancé James Packer because he put on a Beyoncé song while trying to seduce her which resulted in Mariah throwing his laptop out their hotel window?

Well, you’ll never believe it, but apparently James has since dumped Mariah, which is truly shocking because, as I established in my previous blog on the topic, he was clearly in the wrong in that situation, NOT Mariah. This is some real injustice right here.

Nick Cannon And Mariah Carey Are Over

August 21st, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Sometimes the strangest couples last the longest.? Take the case of Supreme Diva, Mariah Carey, and That Guy From That Lame Talent Show, Nick Cannon.? They have managed to be married longer than about 85% of Hollywood and have had a relatively drama free relationship.

Seems that has all changed, and not only are these two separated, they are actually on their way to getting divorced.? I hope MiMi’s Hello Kitty collection will be safe from the impending battle.

Nick Cannon Gets Super Horny When Listening to Mariah Carey’s Music

December 12th, 2012 By Chris Chambers

This morning on Howard Stern’s?satellite radio show, America’s Got Talent host Nick Cannon?revealed some pretty awesome, if not necessarily terribly shocking details about his marriage to singing sensation Mariah Carey. Nick has always seemed like a fairly big douche, partly for his sad little mustache and partly for tolerating a diva bitch like Mariah. This morning, however, Nick?gave a new and frankly pretty great perspective into his life with Mimi.

Mariah and Nick?do seem like an odd couple: she’s a bit older and established as a legendary talent, if also a megalomaniac, while he is a virtual nobody in comparison. He does, however,?appear to happily and unresentfully put up with?her high maintenance bullshit and somehow manage to be a pretty good sport about it. And perhaps therein lies the key to a good celebrity marriage.

Mariah Carey Posts Hilarious Photo Of Herself With Her Husband Nick Cannon In Hospital

January 4th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Mariah Carey isn’t a woman to retire from the limelight too readily. In fact, even in the case of her husband – Nick Cannon – being all drug-eyed and dripped in hospital, recovering from kidney failure, she still wants in on the action.

Sweet, sweet fantasy babeh.

That’s right! She’s snapped her poorly husband and leapt on the bed with him while he looks half-dead in a bobble-hat, unintentionally creating the finest photograph ever taken in human history. And yes, you can see it over the jump.

Hecklerspray’s Nude Celebrity Breakdown: Spring 2011

December 23rd, 2016 By Kris Silver

Spring is in the air, those gloomy winter days are behind us for another year and we can look forward to all of the joys that the sunshine brings: flowers blooming, birds singing and, most importantly, BOOBS!

That's right, it's the time of year where celebrity clothes disappear at the same rate as clouds.

This week we've been treated to many a celebrity disrobing, so we?ll break them down one by one… over the jump you penises.

Mariah Carey Definitely Pregnant, Unless She Isn’t

June 3rd, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

If you want to have a quick laugh, look at all the Mariah Carey headlines on Google News at the moment.

One says ‘Mariah Carey Pregnant!’. Another says ‘Mariah Carey pregnant?’. The one after that says ‘Mariah Carey Pregnant!’ again. It’s a nice mixture of certainty and cluelessness, like watching a puppy bat its paw at a scorpion. For the record, we couldn’t decide whether to go with ‘Mariah Carey Pregnant!’ or ‘Mariah Carey Pregnant?’ so we’re going to go with ‘Mariah Carey Pregnant?!?!’, even though it makes us sound vaguely astonished at the fact that Mariah Carey even has a functioning womb.

Anyway, is Mariah Carey pregnant? Oh, God knows. Haven’t you people got better things to worry about? Jesus.

Nick Cannon To Host America’s Got Zero Self-Awareness

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The thing about America’s Got Talent is that it isn’t really about talent – it’s about attention-seeking idiots.

But at least America’s Got Talent knows this. That’s why, to replace Jerry Springer, the new host of America’s Got Talent has been named as Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon. Oh, you know Nick Cannon. He’s Mariah Carey‘s husband.

Anyway, to help Nick Cannon fit in, America’s Got Talent is changing its name to suit him. Currently it’s a toss-up between America Once Met A Stripper Called Talent, America’s Got A Rampant Desire For Fame and America Got Married To Someone With Talent For The Money.

Mariah Carey Furious About Husband’s Sex Yammer

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Now, when you’re Mariah Carey it’s important that you have the right image – and that image is of a massive, slightly chavvy, slag.

That’s why Mariah Carey only makes music videos that feature her wriggling around in a bra or splashing about in a bikini in slow motion, and it’s also why Mariah Carey only releases songs called Touch My Body or Squeeze My Knockers or Stare Up My Bumhole. Appearing to be constantly sexually available is Mariah Carey’s one promotional cornerstone.

And that explains Mariah Carey’s alleged rage at husband Nick Cannon for telling the world that Mariah enforced a strict ‘no sex before marriage’ policy upon meeting him. Mariah Carey not instantly thwapping it all on a plate? That’s the kind of loose talk that destroys careers! Luckily Mariah Carey is a pro, so she’s fixed the problem herself by heavily implying that she sucked Nick off a bunch of times before the wedding. No joke.

Mariah Carey Wants Nick Cannon’s Babies Inside Her Guts

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Now that she’s got married to Nick Cannon, Mariah Carey has thrown out the celebrity rulebook.

Everyone knows that the celebrity courting ritual involves an absurdly quick marriage to someone you just met, then an equally quick divorce followed by the adoption of an African kid who you decide to name Jifrizznia Grundlequack and then raise alone, filling it with a warped notion of reality that will ruin their lives when they grow up.

Not Mariah Carey, though – after her absurdly quick marriage to Nick Cannon, Mariah Carey apparently wants to skip the divorce and go straight to the child section. And get this, Mariah Carey doesn’t even want to adopt one – she wants to play god and grow a baby in her own stomach. Looks like it might be time for Mariah Carey to start taking her nutty pills again.