Women! Famous ones! Women about to ruin their lives by introducing more children to this cripplingly awful planet! HURRAY! We have started knitting tiny woollen shoes and cutting a high leg to make attractive tanga brief nappies for the discerning celeb sprog.
And in great news for punners and headline writers, Hilary Duff is pregnant on the year anniversary of her marriage to some pointless athlete or other.
Elsewhere, Jessica Alba has a baby, which means that we can rehash our jokes about cheap Alba stereo units that people used to buy, which most of you will have never heard of because you’re all ironic, middle-class shitheads who had everything they ever wanted, not that it stopped you from writing maudlin poetry, crying on your driving holiday to France.
In the ongoing saga of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ‘having some twins’, you would probably think the ridiculous media hysteria couldn’t get much worse.
