After ‘Swagger Jagger’ saw release, everyone with ears hooted in derision. Cher Lloyd was the latest in a long line of pop stars showcasing the fact that, we as a species, have finally run dry of melodies.
However, against all the odds, flying in the face of decency, the track went to number one, making Crosby Stills & Nash fans cry into their morning hemp flakes.
And now Cher Lloyd is going to do it all over again with a song called ‘With Ur Love’. Sadly, the ‘Ur’ doesn’t stand of Underground Resistance. Jarring promotional video is over the jump.
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Not a lot has ever really happened in Australia. Since that awkward event with Dorothy and the wizard who controls all of the inhabitants in Oz, there hasn’t been much to sing and dance about.
Unless you count cracking open a warm tins of Fosters and being distrustful of the indigenous aboriginal folk, Australians have little to look forward to.
However, in a hecklerspray exclusive, it’s been revealed to us that the Australian government are about to allow the population to listen to something other than INXS. Australians were told Michael Hutchence died from natural causes; not through an accidental self-pleasure mishap. So which world famous musician or band has been allowed to fly in and showcase their talents? We’ve been told that Lee Ryan and Muse were busy, so YouTube sensation Rebecca Black has been booked instead.
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Remember the halcyon days when Westlife were a five-piece. They all looked so perfect in photographs with their highlighted curtains and work-sweaters from River Island. They really were the most refreshing thing to get off a stool in pop since GG Allin.
Then, the band went all off-balance when, unfathomably, Brian McFadden decided to go ‘indie’, which actually meant growing a bit of a beard, wearing a parka and… well… still peddling turgid, plodding pop music. Westlife, of course, continued doing exactly the same as before (which actually means, ‘doing as they were told’) and set about becoming the most earnest entertainers in the history of mankind.
BUT WAIT! Is McFadden going to rejoin Westlife? Have they seen Robbie’s reunion with Take That and thought ‘Hey! That’s a really clever, cynical marketing ploy to shift a few more tickets and albums! Provided Brian doesn’t do that rape song…’? Read More >>>
The internet has always been a damaging tool for unintended material to go viral. All you need to do is type “Star Wars Kid” into YouTube to see multiple mocked up videos of the original showing someone emulating one of the characters… or if you prefer, some tubby kid being roundly mocked for having fun.
Twitter has the ability to make a piece of footage go viral in seconds thanks to the power of retweets. One such person who fell victim to this was Rebecca Black. Her parents paid for her to live the dream of a popstar but nobody knew that the song sounded so ropey due to the extreme use of autotune.
At first, the taunts were confined to users describing the song as rubbish. But when personalised threats of violence were uttered, it all got a bit out of hand. But in true Disney esque style, Rebecca Black has come out on top and has released a more polished follow up.
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Delta Goodrem is a singer. Now, you may find that patronising, but we thought you might need reminding as it would appear she’s only famous for having cancer and being dim enough to see Brian McFadden as a suitable mate.
Of course, once McFadden had released his date-rape classic, ‘Just The Way You Are’ (listen here if you missed it), it didn’t take Goodrem long to bin the former Westlifer off.
And now, much to screaming girls annoyance, Goodrem has been spotted out and about holding hands with crooning clone Nick Jonas.
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Yesterday, we spoke about Lady GaGa being a motorbike. Apparently, the image (pictured right) is her new album cover and… well… it is fair to say that it isn’t in-line with her usual arthaus image.
With GaGa gathering up bug-eyed devotees like some kind of rampaging pop-missionary, there are those who are howling with rage!
A lot of fans really aren’t too keen on this new piece of artwork, thinking that it looks like a piece of shoddy photoshoppery, while others are absolutely convinced that the whole thing is a bit of a practical joke. On top of that, the idiots from the Christian church are throwing their hands up in disgust as well.
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Brian McFadden – a man of no fixed talent – can now count Delta ‘She Had Cancer Dontchaknow?’ Goodrem in the number of women he’s broken the heart of. In that collective, you’ll also find Kerry Katona. He’s got a way with the women hasn’t he?
Of course, the former Westlifer started dating the Australian singer after he split with the former Atomic Kitten and they became engaged in 2007.
Nothing of note happened for a while and then, out of the blue, McFadden released a song that was not only incredible in its awfulness, but seemed to promote date-rape (you can hear it here if you don’t believe us) which was probably the final straw for Goodrem.
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We shared the astonishing new record from Brian McFadden over on our twitter account recently, which was rightly met by our readers with a mixture of horror and delighted bemusement. One word continually cropped up – ‘rape’.
Now, that isn’t a word that people normally associate with pop records (unless you’re talking about ‘Sweat (A La La La Long)’ by Inner Circle which has always sounded suspect to hecklerspray.
However, the former Westlifer and Kerry Katona ex has gone and made a song that sounds like it is almost promoting it. If not that, then it sounds like something that Whoopie Goldberg might call ‘not rape rape’. If you haven’t heard, fret not, we have it to listen to over the jump.
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