new single - HecklerSpray

Juliette Lewis Slates Lana Del Rey In Quickest Backlash Ever

January 16th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey hasn’t even got her debut LP out and yet, somehow, the backlash has already begun! We say ‘somehow’; we know exactly why it has started – she makes really awful music and she’s obviously getting very famous because she’s easy on the eye.

Naturally, that’s not a new criticism against pop-music, but who cares? If Lana Del Rey can rely on the same tired cliches of the alt.pop of yore, then we can certainly chide it for the same old boring reasons.

And oddly, we’re not the only ones who think that Del Rey has a whiff of Emperor’s New Clothes about her. The Also Makes Lousy Music actress, Juliette Lewis, has criticised Lana Del Rey’s performance on Saturday Night Live.

Lana Del Ray’s Born To Die Merges Drip-Hop With Impressively Flat, Emotionless Singing! Hurray!

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey is the latest hot young thing that has a myriad of jaded twentysomethings tying their genitals in knots! She writes her own songs AND is kinda good looking! What a treat! What an unusual treat!

Yep, pop music totally doesn’t have a habit of giving attractive people record deals, despite the negligible talent and persistent dullditude.

But that won’t stop the pouting freight train that is Lana Del Rey! She’s going to become gigantically famous whether she actually gets around to writing a song or not! It’s almost admirable really. The perfect anti-pop star. The Lady GaGa for the supplement reader. AND SHE HAS A NEW VIDEO OUT AND WE’VE WORKED OUT WHAT IT IS ALREADY! Watch it over the jump and we promise to irritate you.

Heard Madonna’s New Single? It Has Leaked And It Sounds Like Daphne & Celeste!

November 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember Daphne and Celeste? They were cool weren’t they? They went to the Reading festival and out-punked the punks. They did the right thing and quit after their brief success.

Someone else who remembers Daphne and Celeste is Madonna.

How so? Well, her new single, which has been leaked online like an open pus-sore, sounds just like ’em! Or, if you prefer, it sounds like something Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas would put out and subsequently be ashamed of. Wanna hear it?

Listen To Lana Del Rey’s Tedious New Single, Born 2 Die

November 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ever get the impression that we’re in the worst period of music in mankind’s history? It’s all beige schmindie, stadium turdrock, predictable dubstep and, worse still, maudlin drip-hop like James Blake and the latest sweetheart, Lana Del Rey.

In the case of the latter, everyone is busy pretending that they like her music for what it is (they say ‘beautiful’, we say ‘Sneaker Pimps b-side’) when really, they just like jerking off over pictures of her.

And her next single, Born 2 Die, will have the masturbators in a frenzy when they hear Lana sing the line “let me fuck you hard”. And yes, you can hear it over the jump and start fiddling in your trousers LIKE NOW.

Harry From One Direction Attacked By A Cake In G-A-Y [Video]

September 19th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

So let us get this right: It’s disgusting and pervy for a fully grown adult woman to fancy Justin Bieber, but it’s totally okay to lust after the march team of amniotic gyrators from One Direction?

Just trying to understand the psych of you monstrous men and women out there.

Anyway, womby fancy-piece, Harry Styles from Wand Erection (people still make that joke? Amazing) had a bit of an accident in G-A-Y and some cake this weekend, creating a very specific sexual interest for some of you perverts. And yes, there’s a video.

Oh God. One Direction Are Going To Be Odiously Gigantic (Or, Here’s Their New Single)

August 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Last year’s X Factor managed to turn the women of Great Britain into salivating perverts as they all lined themselves up to heap amorous praise on five incredibly young men, now called One Direction.

They knew what they were saying was all kinds of wrong, but they flicked their beans all the same.

And since the show faded in memory, composure was restored… which of course, is about to have its knickers torn off all over again with the release of the new One Direction/Wand Erection single. And if you’re brave enough to click over the jump, you’ll hear that they are quite obviously going to be a gigantic success. Brrr.

Cher Lloyd Hates People With Opinions. Except Example.

July 12th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Last week our editor Mof made us all listen to Cher Lloyd’s ‘Swagger Jagger‘ causing a mixture of great sadness, violent outbursts?and?uncontrollable bleeding throughout the hecklerspray bedsit. ?Not a pretty sight.

So you can imagine our horror when we found out that another video has surfaced where she’s still attempting to convince us all she’s a really brilliant pop star by letting noises fall out of her mouth again while some poor fella is forced (paid) to play the guitar beside her in black and white.

We’ll let you be the judge of her new single ‘Superhero’ below but it seems that Cher cannot take any form of?criticism?whatsoever and is determined to answer critics on Twitter personally in some brattish attempt to get the last word.

Listen To The New Bjork Track, Crystalline, As Leaked From Her Car Stereo

June 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Bjork – she of many haircuts, birthing aquatic creatures in arthouse films and fan of releasing singles on 40 formats at once – has a new tune coming out called Crystalline and, yes divs, we’re telling you about it because you can hear it here.

Now, you’ll have to click over the jump to listen to it… which we shouldn’t really have told you because it means you’re now not reading these words.

We put a lot of effort into these words y’know? You don’t care. You just care about stupid Bjork and her stupid music. We thought you were all into Nicola Roberts’ ‘Beat Of My Drum’ these days. We don’t know.

Britney Spears Made $500,000 for Hold It Against Me Product Placement

February 24th, 2011 By Amy Grindhouse

Britney Spears released her Hold It Against Me music video last week and surprised no one when it contained more product placements that choreography.

The dance moves were so lacking and lackluster that the sad/ glassy-eyed Britney’s two-stepping had to be disguised with obnoxiously-fast editing.

The entire introduction of the video was nothing but the singer holding a number of products right up to the lens. With Britney presumably being muted so we couldn’t hear, ‘Can you see it? Make sure the brand names don’t go all blurry.’

Wu’s Raekwon Promotes New ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll’ Track With UK Tour

February 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Wu Tang Clan are The Beatles of hip-hop (good thing someone spliced the two together for one of the most fun records of 2010) and when one of them does so much as fart, it is always worth keeping an interest.

And so, on the back of Ghostface Killah’s really great ‘Apollo Kids’ LP, Raekwon is back to carry the Wu flag with a new single called ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll’.

Now, we understand your misgivings. When rappers start looking toward rock music, they often get it wildly wrong. Look at Mos Def’s terrible effort of the same name. However, this is The Chef and as usual, he’s cooking up some marvellous shit and he’s taking it on a tour of the UK too!