New Moon won’t be released for another month, but that’s too long for us. We want New Moon to come out now!
Why the sudden enthusiasm? Have we finally succumbed to the hype and decided that we’d actually enjoy New Moon? Since we’re not fat little squealing 14-year-old girls, we’d have to say no. We actually want New Moon to come out now so that Summit can hurry up and start showing millions of poxy trailers for Eclipse all the bloody time instead.
But until then we’ll have to put with millions of New Moon trailers, the trillionth of which has just been released. After the jump!
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So Kanye West grabbed all the MTV VMA headlines by acting like the world’s most unnaturally colossal turd.
But that’s not the real news. No, the real news is that MTV broadcast a New Moon trailer! Yes, we know that there have already been about a million New Moon trailers, but this one is different. It’s very slightly longer! And Robert Pattinson takes his top off in it! And therefore it’s more liable to make us want to deliberately binge ourselves into a pharmaceutically-assisted coma just to escape it!
Excited about the New Moon trailer? Then you’re an idiot. Also, it’s after the jump…
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Want to know how big New Moon is? It’s so big that even New Moon trailers have their own teaser trailers now.
Sadly, we’re not joking. A New Moon trailer comes out on Friday, and to tease fans – about the trailer – a 15-second peek has emerged.
Before the New Moon trailer teaser trailer came a teaser to the teaser trailer to the New Moon trailer, which consisted of five seconds of the New Moon trailer teaser trailer. And before that came the teaser to the teaser to the teaser trailer to the New Moon trailer, which lasted a tenth of a nanosecond and only existed in the mind of one overexcited teenage girl. Or bloody SOMETHING.
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We now bring you the biggest news of this, or perhaps any, century. There. Is. A. New. Moon. Trailer. THERE IS A NEW MOON TRAILER!
Perhaps you didn’t understand us. There’s a New Moon trailer and it’s on the internet and we’ve got it here! It’s literally everything we wanted it to be, because Robert Pattinson‘s in it and he looks dreamy and a man changes into a wolf and we want to marry it FOREVER.
We’re exaggerating. But the New Moon trailer is everything we wanted it to be. It’s quite short. That’s all we wanted it to be.
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