new films - HecklerSpray

Trailer Park: Fighting Old Men And A Lot Of Screaming

August 6th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

We are pleased, delighted, and completely over-excited to inform you all that the popular director Michael Bay will be getting some money from a film studio to make a film called Ouija. Yes, it's had a massive budget cut which means that the even more popular director McG probably won't be directing it anymore, but fear not guys where?s there's a will, there's a Bay (see what we did there?)

We can't show you a trailer because it's not got that far yet, sadly, but just imagine people sitting in a dark room on the floor moving their hands, while pretending not to, around a wooden board. AOK.

Now, down to business, films, trailers, film trailers, they're all over the place and one film gets like three trailers sometimes; talk about overkill. Those slick Hollywood suits know how you think though. They?re phone hacking your brain with technology far more sophisticated than we care to disclose at this time and they know you like the trailers.

Trailer Park: English Accents And A Dwarf In An Oven

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Today we got a text and what it said was profound and in caps. The delight that greeted us was simply, ?TWO DAYS IN NEW YORK: JULIE DELPY, CHRIS ROCK.? We ignored it because why would we not?

We live in a world where it's okay to like Julie Delpy and her massive idiosyncratic glasses that anthropomorphise her face; yes, we do realise that that's not even possible. We live in this world, but we don't have to like it (we do) and we definitely don't have to watch it (we do).

Anyway, eurgh, movies are rubbish, especially the ones that haven't even come out yet, they're so rubbish that they make us feel emotions and always, always wish that our life was like them. It's nice to wish your life was like the movies. It's also delusional and if your favourite movie is Natural Born Killers then its borderline psychotic. Trailers are even more dangerous. Trailers compact this into two minutes of adrenaline fuelled longing; it's like having emotional epilepsy. Shall we watch some trailers?

Trailer Park: Nic Cage And Some Films Without Nic Cage

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Films, again really? In the midst of all this Chris Brown at the Grammy?s furore frankly we're shocked that people haven't suspended production and the studios been shut down, but then that's show business and the show must go on.

Or something like that.

With that in mind here are the most terrible movies you can go and watch when you stop smiling from seeing The Muppets, which does have some terrible trailers before it in case you were wondering.

Trailer Park: Ronseal, Rocks And Rat Tails

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

It's that time of the week once more where you get texts from distant relatives and Facebook friends you decided it was acceptable to dole out your mobile number to.

They are texting you because they know that you will be slinking back to a cold flat alone after work and they want your Orange Wednesday so they can go to the cinema with their real friends. You might not be invited, but you're also not using it are you?

We know that you don't want to cry all night so we're going to let you watch some of the trailers for the films they might be watching this week then you can be part of the team (which you're not because as we all know there's no ?I? in team.)

Trailer Park: Movie Previews And Rotten Popcorn

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Films. Movies. Whatever you call them, they are still being released. They’re always being released. They’ll never stop being released. Surely, at some point, we’ll reach a time when we’ve got enough films. We only need so many, right?

Anyway, until then, we’ve got to look at the newest flicks that are coming out. You can almost smell the stale popcorn.

So, here?s what the week in film trailers looks like for those of you who are hearing and/or visually impaired we're doing the dirty work so you don't have to.

Trailer Park: A Look At The New Film Releases

August 5th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Plot holes! Popcorn! If you hadn’t guessed, hecklerspray is venturing into the world of film criticism and, as awards season rolls around again with all the depressing monotony of Madonna trying her best to make a movie, we couldn't have picked a better time to start.

We've already seen The Golden Globes pass by like a bus that couldn't be bothered to hit anyone and The London Critics Circle had an altogether more serious affair for the ?proper? films; they?ll be the ones you never saw while you were queuing for tickets to The Inbetweeners Movie.

Now though it's time for that decrepit golden man to bestow some acclaim on some people who really don't need anymore; enter Oscar. In other words – let us look at new trailers for new films.

Henry Cavill Looks Like A Bearded Vagrant On Superman: Man Of Steel Set

October 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Despite all the protestations of nerdy, no-life Superman superfans, it appears that Superman: Man Of Steel is going to follow the blueprint of the newest Batman films, just like we said they would. That’s because Hollywood is completely devoid of ideas.

Yup, Superman – the lamest superhero of them all despite abilities to the contrary – is going to go all mean and moody.

Zack Snyder?s reboot will see Clark Kent frowning a lot and trying to work out the purpose of his life, deciding whether to become Superman at all. Of course he should. He’s got x-ray vision, can fly and punch holes through your chest. He’s probably lousy in bed though. Anyway, we’ve got some photographs of Henry Cavill on-set looking… um… moody and homeless.

Disney Rehash The Lion King In 3D For Stupid Film Goers

September 19th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

If you happen to have the vaguest interest in films, then you\’ll have realised that over the last few years, there's been a couple of ongoing trends. Two scoops of ice-cream and a smidgen of sauce will cost you a week?s wage, whilst the films themselves have been rehashed to death.

All sorts of fancy mind numbing modern effects such as HD, 3D and IMAX are being used to hike up ticket prices to drag in doleful punters.

As for the films themselves, there has been nothing of any immediate mainstream quality in the last decade that's made us rush out to the cinema. All we're faced with are countless sequels, rubbish remakes/reduxes and adaptations from books like Harry Potter. Disney have decided to embrace technology and re-release The Lion King with sharper animation and three whole dimensions. Now a new generation of children can see Mufasa die, but in 3D!

Gawp At Photos Of Amy Adams On The Superman: Man Of Steel Set

January 16th, 2017 By Mof Gimmers

Superman. He’s a bit rubbish isn’t he? He can fly, shoot lasers out of his eyes, blow really really coldly and make the world spin in reverse. Yet, he’s one of the lamest superheroes ever who has pretty lousy taste in women.

This has meant the movie adaptations have left us all a little disappointed by virtue of the fact they were rather true to the original comics. Apart from the one with Richard Pryor in. That was ace. Especially the bit where the woman gets eaten by a computer and turns into the internet.

Anyway, there’s a new Superman due called Man Of Steel and the woman who is The Piece in it is called Amy Adams. You might know her from movies such as Enchanted, Catch Me If You Can, The Fighter and Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye. And we’ve got the first pictures of her on set. We don’t know anything about her but we know she’s HOT.

Look! Henry Cavill In His Superman Costume! Not As We Originally Imagined

August 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Everyone is superhero mad at the moment, and the lamest of the bunch is coming back. That’s right! Supreme square, Superman is going to return to our screens with Henry Cavill landing the role.

That must be nice for him.

You may have been wondering what he’s going to look like in his super suit and, despite the fact we showed you what he’d look like ages ago, we’re going to show you a new picture! That’s right! You can look at a picture with your non-super eyes!