Articles tagged with: NBC
If you're a fan of smug, unfunny comedy but you go to bed quite early, Jay Leno's new 10pm NBC show must feel like a godsend. A whole hour of Jay Leno telling reheated 12-year-old Bill Clinton jokes at a time that even allows the elderly to be somewhat nonplussed by it? Brilliant! But what's the show going to be like? Well, according to Jay Leno himself, it'll be just like his old show but with more 'stunts'. And stunt number one? Seeing how quickly he can send Conan O'Brien into the depths of gibbering impotent psychosis. We imagine.
In May, Jay Leno was due to retire from TV and spend his days droning witlessly about cars and getting chin massages. But that was never actually going to be the case. There's such a dearth of middle-aged male millionaires who aren't as funny as they think they are on TV right now that Jay Leno was never going to stay retired for long. And now we know what Jay Leno's next show will be - it's his old show, basically - on the same network, in the same studio and broadcast 90 minutes earlier so even more people can get contaminated by watch it.
Two ways to tell that a TV show is in trouble: 1) its producers get fired and 2) the show is so terrible it makes people want to vomit tears. And that spells a big uh-oh for Heroes, because both of those apply equally to it. The latter has done since around the end of the first season, but the former has only just happened. Heroes co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander have been given the boot by NBC in an attempt to make the show decent again. There's no word on who'll replace Loeb and Alexander on Heroes, but we think it'll be us. We have a three-point Heroes resuscitation plan raring to go, and it's unbeatable. 1) Reduce the cast down to a key core of characters, 2) ditch all the time travel, and 3) bring in a new character who's a cartoon time-travelling giraffe who speaks in rhymes like a rapper and has magical sunglasses. Kids still like rap, right?
This is a day as momentous as the moon landing plus the fall of the Berlin wall multiplied by three Live Aids - Rosie O'Donnell's back on TV! After spending 17 months in the television wilderness, where she's filled her time with nothing but failed comeback attempts and screwy pronouncements about other gay celebrities, it's been announced that Rosie O'Donnell will host a live one-hour primetime show on NBC the day before Thanksgiving. The show is to be entitled Rosie's Variety Hour. It's an accurate name, since the entire show is going to be an hour of Rosie O'Donnell destroying a variety of things that make her angry with a cricket bat - like a bible, the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution, the headquarters of an anti-abortion lobby group and, as a finale, a 30-storey slime-filled papier mache sculpture of Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Donald Trump holding hands.
In a move almost as shocking and drastic as the time someone thought it'd be a real good idea to make something called The New Monkees, people have gone and announced a very intentional remake of the Partridge Family. Maybe it won't be so bad though. The entire old cast is returning to reprise their roles, and to once again live with their really old mother. Sure, it sounds improbable, but the scriptwriters are supposedly coming up with all sorts of ways to make the transition go off real smoothly - for instance Danny Bonaduce's character moves back home because he's hiding from a newly resurrected KGB, and David Cassidy's character retreats to his mother's residence after losing half his brain in an industrial mining accident. See, Hollywood has ways of making this kind of stuff work.
Judging by the amount of time it's on the telly over here, Quincy could probably buy himself a bejewelled sex unicorn with repeat royalties from his show.
Trouble is, though, Quincy says he can't even afford a bejewelled sex gerbil, which he's why he's suing NBC.
Hard-bitten, authority-disrespecting, super-sleuthing coroner Quincy - who was the star of a hard-hitting documentary series for seven years - claims that NBC has been gypping him out of money. Money that he wants. However, Quincy is now 85 years old and might not be thinking straight, because he's also claiming that Quincy wasn't a documentary and that his real name is Jack Klugman. Quincy's name isn't Jack Klugman! Quincy's name is Quincy! Quincy!
Piers Morgan has won the final of NBC's The Celebrity Apprentice.
Or, to put it another way, Piers Morgan went to America looking for success, and America (and by America we mean Donald Trump) looked back at Piers Morgan and replied: "Sure, why not? You're a man with all the qualities required to succeed here. Your wish is our command".
What is wrong with America? It all started off so positively some 40,000 years ago when a bunch of wandering nomads from Asia decided to set up camp. They had a quaint little society going on, and for thousands of years everything was wonderful, but then in 1492 some Italian named Chris landed on the shore and it all turned to shit.
Quickly! What's the worst thing about living in the UK? Don't think, just say the first thing that comes into your head.
That's right, it's sodding Fearne Cotton being jammed down your throat every day and night on TV, goading you closer to suicide with her big stupid voice and ridiculous clothes. Fearne Cotton is easily the worst thing about living in the UK.
But guess what? Fearne Cotton isn't going to live here any more! She's got a deal to host a primetime NBC show in America, so she'll go and live there instead. This is how Tina Turner must have felt when Ike died.
