Why ‘The Beef’ would want to be hit in the face is open to speculation – maybe he saw that Tarzan scene in the new Indy flick one too many times and felt he needed to take some small steps towards making amends. Namely, through violence. Though, let’s be honest, it would need more than a simple slap to make up for that abortion of a movie moment.

Speculate all we may, the reasons why young Beefy wanted to be left red-faced will probably elude us for a fair time to come. What we don’t need to speculate about is the fact that Shia used a naughty homosexual slur to goad his chum into slapping him, as seen on a YouTube video – which was subsequently pulled from prying public eyes.

That’s right – put the kids to bed, cover granny’s eyes and ears and hope to Zeus that Mary Whitehouse isn’t around – Shia called his friend a ‘faggot’.

Has the world ended yet? No? Phew.

Young movie superstar in using slang term with friends shocker! Now, we at hecklerspray are completely against all forms of -ism and -phobia: racism, homophobia, sexism, dogma, bad sandwiches and many more. But dear crikey if this doesn’t seem like yet another case of something being blown completely out of proportion simply because of a guy’s status.

Beef Stew was filmed with his friends and it got out. The situation wasn’t one intended for the public to witness and it certainly isn’t a situation where the youthful Red Meat should feel the need to heavily censor his language. It’s just as soon as the media parasites get a hold of it, things go mental and LaBeouf is forced into making an awkward apology, through a spokesperson (natch), thusly:

“He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”

Roughly translated: ’sorry for anything bad ever to anyone, even things I wasn’t involved in or had no prior knowledge of’. A decent, cover-all-bases apology from Shia. He knows he shouldn’t have said the bad word that will clearly bring about the end of all that is good in the world, but the mere fact that he’s been forced to make a hasty apology and that the powers that be saw the situation as one where a video should be removed shows that this is a classic media over-reaction.

Wait – what do you mean Shia is actually a master criminal? A man-child who constantly breaks the law? Won’t someone please think of the children?!

Whatever next? Bifstek calling Miley Cyrus a bad name? He wouldn’t dare.